I recently marked my late father’s yahrzeit. Cyril Metliss was a proud and strong man, doyen of the ‘43 group and supporter of Hendon United Synagogue, in the area where I was brought up.
That weekend I visited five premier league United Synagogues, principally to say Kaddish and remember my father. All were brimming with energy, with lively, warm, friendly and well attended congregations. All had extremely welcoming and enthusiastic rabbis and chairmen.
I started at St John’s Wood United Synagogue on Friday night to be with a close friend, then I went to my own shul, Central on Saturday morning where I was called up and sang Anim Zemirot, encouraged by the convivial chazan Steven Leas. On Saturday night I was at Norrice Lea and then to South Hampstead shul on Sunday morning where I recited Kaddish with my brother. Then I went back to Raleigh Close on Sunday evening for my last Kaddish, which was an emotional experience.
I could not fail to be impressed by all this activity, and the many options within the United Synagogue, of which it can be justly proud. I also sometimes go to the New West End, in St Petersburgh Place, under its new, enlightened religious leader Rabbi Aaron Lipsey and enjoy its exciting cultural and music programme. It’s so important to have so much Jewish life, vigour and activity within the United Synagogue.
I found this number of active, lively and welcoming shuls within a relatively small geographical area very moving and encouraging when people are, ironically, talking about the demise and decline of the UK Jewish community.
What makes a great shul experience? Different things matter for different people. However, it is fundamental that a shul, its rabbis and honorary officers are welcoming, warm and friendly inviting and approachable. The rabbi should feel genuine, motivated by a love of Torah.
There is no room for discomfort, fear or disrespect. You walk through the door and you should be made to feel at home. A shul and its congregants should reflect the values, morals and behaviour that the rabbis extol and promote on a regular basis. Reprimands and criticisms are out of order – whether relating to the position of tefillin on your head or sitting down during the Amidah. I attended a service at Richmond United Synagogue last year for a Torah dedication where its rabbi made me feel like a long-time congregant. What a pleasure it was.
Chabad rabbis preach that everyone who comes to shul is equally important and matters, and should not be judged by any other criteria such as money or anything else. And a shul should give you something to take away from your experience, a thought or a principle of behaviour. It is not difficult.
The amount and quality of food at a kiddush is not so important to me. The “hyenas” have normally eaten most of the food by the time you manage to reach the table anyway.
I am currently working on yet another football event with three central London United synagogues to increase harmony and co-operation between them and to encourage even more activity, energy and enthusiasm.
Like King David and my former religious leader Reverend Leslie Hardman, the first Jewish chaplain to enter Bergen Belsen, British Jews, led by the United Synagogue, should be standing tall and proud in the face of all the adversity we have been facing and not be afraid of having our Jewish voices and values heard. There is no room whatsoever nor reason for appeasement, diffidence and shyness and on no account should we be afraid.
The United Synagogue should stand up and have its voice heard far more loudly in political and religious circles for its core values, including its support for the State of Israel.
Where I sat last weekend, the future is not so bleak and there are exciting times ahead for the United Synagogue, its friends and the community. It is in our own hands and we have to be positive and determined. My father would be proud of the institution he was once part of.
Jonathan Metliss is chair of the charity Action Against Discrimination
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