‘Shuls need to be more inclusive’ say speakers at first neurodiversity conference

She said that the Jewish community could potentially give her son, who is “highly sociable”, a social life. “But the main stumbling block is that people don’t know how to be inclusive. But it’s a case of taking baby steps. Just add the word ‘inclusive’ when running an event. You don’t need to put on different events.”

She also suggested giving people who were neurodivergent or had learning disabilities a role to play. “It could be handing out biscuits, welcoming people at the door or being a bar or bat mitzvah buddy if they have had a bar or bat mitzvah.”

Gundle is the co-author of the Jweb Accessible Siddur, an abridged version with bigger font and pictorial translations of the Hebrew. It is used in Progressive communities and has been adapted by the United Synagogue to produce an Orthodox version, Siddur Lakol, which translates as “Siddur for Everyone”.

Susan Dawson is co-founder of B’yachad Together, an inclusive service, which takes place once a month at Finchley Reform Synagogue and uses the Jweb Accessible Siddur.

It’s not about doing it for them. It’s about doing it with them. It’s about enabling

She started it 12 years ago as a way of creating a prayer space which her son, now 31, who has special educational needs, and others could be part of.

“We start later and keep it to just under one hour. All the volunteers wear name badges which are clear and legible. I can’t emphasise the importance of these badges as they immediately take away an awkward boundary.”

During a shortened version of the Shema, they incorporate Makaton gestures and instead of reciting the Amidah, they hold tallitot above congregants’ heads and use the time for quiet communal contemplation. “And what is extraordinary is that everyone goes quiet.”

Dawson emphasised the importance of giving all attendees a role, whether that was opening the ark or blessing the challah or wine. “It’s not about doing it for them; but doing it with them. It’s about enabling.”

She also said how important it was to have an adaptable prayer space and that a large area was advantageous for wheelchair users. “Synagogues also need to make sure that they have functional accessible toilets. How many shuls have accessible toilets which have just become store cupboards?”

Beverley Blake, inclusion officer at Bushey United Synagogue, said: “We are fortunate that we have a rabbi and a rebbetzin who understand that one size doesn’t fit all. Synagogue leaders need to ask families: ‘What do you need?’ Each person’s needs are different. One ADHDer will have different needs to another ADHDer.”

Sensory resources at the Belonging Matters conference (Photo: Gaby Wine)[Missing Credit]

Blake said that it was “important to think outside the box”. Two years ago, she started a “calm service” at Bushey United during the High Holy Days as, “a lot of children find the main children’s service overwhelming”. Rather than sit on chairs, the children can sit on beanbags and floormats.

Congregants can also pick up a “Kids’ calm and curious pack” when they come into the synagogue, which includes PJ Library books and “tools and objects to keep children occupied”, said Blake.

Both Gundle and Blake talked about the need for all synagogues to have an inclusion officer. “This would be someone who can give advice on how to make an event more inclusive,” said Gundle.

Speakers shared moving recollections about how their neurodivergent children had managed to have a bar or bat mitzvah, which was both meaningful and accessible.

The Belonging Matters conference participants listen to Sarah Sultman, co-chair of Gesher School (Photo: Leivi Saltman)[Missing Credit]

Andrew Raphaely, a trustee of Shalva UK, said he had walked away from his Orthodox synagogue about a decade ago when the affiliated school “didn’t want to make space” for his son, Joshua – now 15 – who is autistic and has learning difficulties.
But when he returned five years ago to say Kaddish after his father died, “I found things had moved on. There was now a fantastic rabbinic team, and the community could see that not every family was so straightforward.”

Instead of having his bar mitzvah on a Shabbat morning, Joshua had the ceremony during the mincha (afternoon) service and prepared by learning the blessings.

We need to meet people where they are and who they are

"When he went onto the bimah and saw all eyes on him, he sat down again. So the rabbi called up his tutor, and my son then went up onto the bimah, said the brachot, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. It was the most moving experience.”

Dawson said that as her son, who is non-verbal, loved music, they chose a psalm which includes lots of musical instruments. Each time a different instrument was mentioned, her son pressed a Makaton switch, which made the sound of the instrument. Her son is now in his 30s, but “people still talk about his bar mitzvah now”, said Dawson. “It was so impactful.”

Miriam Berger, Rbaii Emeritus at Finchely Reform Synagogue, said in a video about the B’Yachad Together service (which wasn’t recorded on Shabbat): “We need to meet people where they are and who they are.”

The Belonging Matters conference was hosted by Norwood, the United Synagogue and Gesher School, and the JC was the media partner.