‘Music unlocks emotions’ – the therapy helping families get through illness at Chai Cancer Care

“When music therapy was first suggested, I said no,” said Aaron, who is a dentist by trade.

“Music had always been a huge part of my life, but after Kat’s diagnosis, I couldn’t listen to it. Every song made me burst into tears. Music, which had always brought me joy, had suddenly become too painful.”

Eventually though, he agreed, and he found the first sessions to be mostly just about playing music.

“I wasn’t really ready to open up emotionally. But after a few weeks, I found myself talking more and playing less. We’d begin with music, and then I’d just start talking. Everything I’d been holding in came pouring out.

“We also started writing pieces of music together. Rather than writing complete songs, we’d create little musical ideas that reflected exactly how I was feeling in that moment. Exploring why the music sounded the way it did helped me understand my own emotions in a way I couldn’t have done with words alone.

“I had music therapy once a week for almost a year. After a couple of months, I slowly began playing music again at home. It gave me a safe, non-judgmental space where I could express everything I was feeling and someone to guide me through it.”

Katherine and Aaron Landau (Photo: courtesy/Chai)[Missing Credit]

Aaron said that without music therapy, he wasn’t sure he could have coped. “It gave me somewhere to say how unfair life felt, how angry I was and how overwhelmed I was.

"Then I could go home, be present for my children and support Kat because I’d begun to process those emotions instead of carrying them around all day. The therapy helped centre me. It reminded me that although life was incredibly difficult, I still had my children, my wife and an amazing support network. It gave me the emotional strength to keep going.”

Someone else who saw the benefits of music therapy was Sarah*, from Manchester, who began attending Chai after her one-year-old son, Eli, was diagnosed with cancer. While Eli received play therapy during his treatment, his older sister, Leah, turned to music therapy.

Sarah said: “Leah needed individual attention, somewhere positive that was just for her. You can see how much more confident she feels. She comes home, plays the keyboard, teaches her brothers and sisters songs she’s learnt and feels so proud of herself.”

She continued: “Music unlocks emotions. I sat in some of the sessions and was crying my eyes out. Even for me, it was therapeutic. She would tell you she feels much calmer now. The music therapy has given her confidence and something that’s hers. I wouldn’t have got this kind of support anywhere else. Chai understood our family, our background and our lifestyle.”

Ben Ziff (right) and Bertie, with the painting, done by Ben's children, which has been used for the front cover of the song 'Big Little Life (Cece's Song)'[Missing Credit]

In June, the JC wrote about the powerful role music played in helping north London father and drummer Ben Ziff through grief, after he co-wrote Big Little Life (Cece’s Song) with Bertie Green (AKA “Bertie”). The song celebrates the brief but joyful life of his daughter Celine (Cece), who died aged one year and 19 days from an extremely rare form of cancer.

Ben, 39, said: "Music didn't remove the grief. It gave me a way to channel it. It allowed me to create something for Cece that carried her voice, her joy and her place in our family. That's what the song means to me; it's her legacy.”

Chai's Charlotte Hildebrand (Photo: Chai)[Missing Credit]

Chai’s head of client services Charlotte Hildebrand said music therapy “can provide comfort and connection at a time when families are facing some of the most difficult experiences imaginable. We are proud to be expanding our music therapy services, supporting [everyone] whose lives are profoundly affected by a diagnosis”.

*Names and details have been changed

For more information on Chai’s services, click here or go to: chaicancercare.org