Natalie Altman has had OCD for as long as she can remember.
As a child, she would spend an hour before bed every night doing her “checks”: a ritual that involved shutting the door in a certain way and touching all the items in her room in a particular order.
Then there were the “promises” she needed her parents to make: “Promise we won’t get burgled; promise we won’t be in a plane crash if we’re on holiday; promise you won’t die – promise literally everything under the sun,” Altman recalls.
“I used to get so excited to go to bar and batmitzvahs because I’d be like: ‘Oh, then I’m going to be so tired when I come home, I won’t have to do my checking.’ But I would always have to do it anyway.”
Altman, a 27-year-old PR executive based in Barnet, started making TikToks about her journey with OCD a little over a year ago, aiming to spread awareness about what it’s like to live with the condition. Not long afterwards, she and her fiancé, Aron, were asked to appear in a new Channel 5 documentary programme called Do You Have OCD?, and they are one of four couples to share an intimate glimpse into the reality of life – and relationships – with OCD.
“It’s like having a voice in your head saying: ‘You have to do this, or something bad will happen,’ and I’d have all these thoughts going round and round and round in circles, constantly,” Altman explains. “To everyone else, it seems really irrational, but to you, it doesn’t. And it’s a lot more than just washing your hands.”
Obsessive-compulsive disorder, a mental health condition characterised by intrusive thoughts or fears and behavioural compulsions, impacts an estimated three-quarters of a million people in the UK. Obsessions can manifest as fear of contamination or germs, leading to the stereotypical perception of OCD as a “cleanliness” disorder, but they vary for each person. Those dealing with the condition also tend to develop repetitive rituals – like Altman’s “checking” – to prevent a feared event from happening.
Altman, who grew up attending Woodside Park Synagogue and has recently joined Edgware and Hendon Reform shul with Aron, was 15 by the time she saw a doctor for OCD. Her obsessions were largely around health, her own and her loved ones’, and, she says, there were a few instances “when I actually convinced myself, like, really, really convinced myself, that I had cancer”.
The show, which aired earlier this month on Channel 5, sheds light on the way OCD can impact relationships – something Altman has been discovering for herself over the last five years with Aron.
“I’m lucky that it hasn’t affected me being able to have this amazing relationship, and he’s so supportive,” Altman says. “He’s always made such an effort to learn about OCD and understand it better.
“When I had it really badly, it was obviously affecting him, and he went to see a therapist to get advice on how best to deal with someone with OCD. So he’s gone completely above and beyond, but I think that should just be the standard if you love someone.”
For herself, Altman has seen up to ten mental health professionals, from psychiatrists to counsellors to hypnotists, since her diagnosis. There is no catch-all cure for OCD, but symptoms can often be treated with psychotherapy and medication.
Altman says she’s learnt a lot of techniques from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which can help patients manage a variety of mental health issues by challenging existing thought patterns and working to build new ones.
“Now, I can recognise my OCD thoughts if they start with a ‘What if?’ question,” she says. “Altogether, I think the best thing has been a combination of CBT therapy, my medication and my fiancé.”
Altman, who continues to make TikTok videos spreading awareness about OCD and what it looks like to “thrive” with the condition, is hopeful that others with the condition can find comfort in her story.
“I’ve done all these things already that some people think you can’t do with a mental health condition or with OCD,” she says. “It was such a privilege to be on the Channel 5 show because it means I can reach more people as an example of someone who has OCD as a part of their life, but doesn’t let it define them.”
Do You Have OCD? is available to stream on channel5.com/do-you-have-ocd. Or click here
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