Father and autistic son team up to cycle for Norwood

“Jonathan and I had always wanted children, and like most expectant parents, had a vision of what family life would be like. I held onto the hope that his challenges would be mild, perhaps accompanied by some sort of special gift. Jacob cannot recite Pi to one hundred decimal places, but he can now count back from 10, assisted.”

Jacob has never been able to attend a mainstream school, and Hannah said that while his language skills were developing and he was able to express simple concepts using a few words, it was “unlikely that he will ever be able to hold a conversation or discuss how he feels. Parents often express relief at having passed the baby stage, but for us, the developmental chasm between Jacob and his peers has only grown with age.”

Jonathan said: “We've had to adapt our expectations of what Jacob might be able to do – which is a lot, but it's just different."

Jacob and Jonathan on a previous tandem bike ride (Photo: courtesy)[Missing Credit]

Hannah said the support they had received from friends had been invaluable. “We are lucky to have so many friends who adore him and tolerate him coming over to their houses and finding the cosiest spot to curl up – even if it happens to be in their bed.”

Hannah said her son was “an immensely good judge of character, placing his hands on your face as a sign of acknowledgement and acceptance”. This action, she said, served “as a good barometer and helps us to form strong and supportive friendships”.

Nonetheless, Jacob’s limited self-care meant there were “huge restrictions” on both Jacob’s life and theirs, she added. “Jacob’s autism has significantly impacted our lives as parents, putting immense strain on our relationship, preventing us from spending much time together and, with his daily 5am wake-up calls, robbing us of much needed sleep.”

Jacob on a Norwood Unity camp (Photo: Amber Pollack Photography)[Missing Credit]

As well as friendships, Hannah said that they also relied on family, teachers and the support they received from Norwood, where Jacob attended nursery and now regularly joins their Unity holiday clubs and Sunday programmes. “He adores the outings he takes with them, messy play, music, playing in the garden and sensory room, and often brings back a baked treat for us to try. He recognises exactly where he is going and squeals with delight as we approach the building.”

Hannah said that while Norwood provided Jacob with “a nurturing community”, it also gave them time to focus their attention on their two younger children.

Jacob playing the drums (Photo: Amber Pollack Photography)[Missing Credit]

Jacobs’s barmitzvah, which took place in December, brought with it “mixed emotions – undeniable happiness but also grief”, said his mum. “[These milestones] serve as a reminder of the personal challenges Jacob faces and of our family’s unique journey.

“That journey has had its ups and downs, but we remain deeply grateful for what we have. Our role is to make the most of the hand that Jacob and our family have been dealt, and we continue to strive to do so."

You can donate to Jacob and Jonathan’s cycling fundraiser for Norwood at: charityextra.com/hub/norwood/jonathan-tobin or by clicking here