A Jewish cancer survivor who now supports other people who have received a diagnosis is urging people to ask for help instead of feeling isolated and uncertain about the future.
Sharing his story with the JC to mark Movember – a month dedicated to men’s health – Simon Feldman, 42, from Barnet, was first diagnosed with testicular cancer at the age of 20, while studying in Australia.
The cancer returned twice since the first diagnosis – when Simon was 24 and then again, four years later.
Now a specialist cancer coach, on November 18, Simon will be running a free virtual workshop – “Who Am I Now?” – to help cancer survivors explore their identity after cancer.
He told the JC: “When I was first diagnosed, I was in Australia studying abroad as part of my degree. I had an accident on a houseboat while travelling around Fraser Island, which led to the discovery that I had cancer.”
He said that when he received the diagnosis, he was staying in the picturesque Surfers Paradise. “I took the phone call from the doctor while the ocean was lapping back and forth in front of me and the sun was beating down from a brilliant blue sky. As soon as the doctor confirmed it was cancer, it felt as if the colour and life from the landscape had drained away to a sterile black and white. I was completely shocked and understandably upset.”
But he said that the experience of breaking the news to his parents, who were in the UK, was even worse.
“I remember speaking to my dad on the phone and mustering the courage to say: ‘Hello Dad... I have cancer.’” His parents managed to fly out to Brisbane just hours before his operation.
Describing the diagnosis as “incredibly traumatic”, Simon said: “Initially, it was the shock and the instant fear that I had been given a death sentence. Then came the anxiety of having an operation, the physical changes to my body and wondering whether the cancer had spread”.
He said this was coupled with “immense sadness” about whether he would ever be able to become a father. “It was something I had longed for, even from an early age. It was a lot to process at once.”
Three rounds of chemotherapy in the UK followed. “It was brutal and isolating in equal measure. As well as being sick and losing my hair, I reacted to the anti-sickness drugs and caught an infection that hospitalised me. It was an awful and lonely time.”
Simon Feldman (Photo: Chai Cancer Care)[Missing Credit]
However, seeing how cancer had “shaped my life” and the support that Chai Cancer Care had given his parents during his treatment and diagnosis, Simon decided he wanted to use his experience to help other people and began running group coaching workshops at the charity to help other survivors navigate life after treatment.
“I know first-hand how cancer can make people question their identity, beliefs, purpose and overall direction in life. It can be hard to get back to the person you were before cancer, either because you lack the energy or motivation, or because your entire view of the world has changed.”
Simon said he and many cancer survivors also felt a pressure to “live life to the full”, but this could be “ incredibly difficult when your whole world has been turned upside down and you no longer know who you are or which way to move. It can leave someone feeling completely stuck.”
He said his sessions offered a safe space, where survivors could share how they were feeling, explore their sense of identity and get support with anxiety about the cancer returning. Simon said: “We look at what is within their control and what is outside their control, and the small but meaningful steps they can take to move forward. That might mean focusing on what is important to them right now or recognising the things they no longer want to spend their time or energy on.”
He said the group experience proved particularly powerful as participants “effectively coach one another, whether that means championing and supporting each other or positively challenging unhelpful or critical thinking”.
He said that men in particular needed to be aware that support was available. “You might want support individually, you might want to remain anonymous online, or you might simply want to hear from other men who have been through or are going through something similar. My message is that you are not alone.”
Chai Cancer Care (Photo: Chai Cancer Care)[Missing Credit]
In the past year, Chai has provided 782 appointments for people with prostate and testicular cancer, up nine per cent from 716 the previous year.
Group bookings for people affected by prostate or testicular cancer also rose sharply, up 47 per cent from 168 to 247 in the past year.
According to Prostate Cancer UK, prostate cancer is now the UK’s most commonly diagnosed cancer, with more than 68,000 men diagnosed each year and one in eight expected to develop the disease in their lifetime.
People with inherited BRCA gene variants – more prevalent in the Jewish community – carry a greater risk of developing prostate cancer. Testicular cancer is much rarer than prostate cancer, with around 2,300 new cases every year, according to Cancer Research UK. The majority of diagnoses occur in males aged 30 to 34, with almost 18 per cent of all new testicular cancer cases diagnosed in this age group.
[Missing Credit]Charlotte Hildebrand from Chai Cancer Care (Photo: Chai Cancer Care)
Charlotte Hildebrand, Chai’s head of client services, says: “What we hear from our clients is that the shock of a cancer diagnosis is often followed by worries about their families, their recovery and whether the cancer will return. Yet speaking about those fears or accepting help when they are used to supporting others can be difficult.
“This Movember, we want to encourage greater openness about men’s health and make it easier to ask for support. Whether someone has just been diagnosed, is going through treatment or is trying to find their feet afterwards, Chai is here for them and their loved ones. They do not need to wait until things become overwhelming to get in touch.”
For more information on Chai Cancer Care, go to chaicancercare.org or click here
PROSTATE CANCER – WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR
- Men with early prostate cancer will often have no symptoms because of the way the cancer grows.
- You’ll usually only get early symptoms if the cancer grows near the tube you urinate through (the urethra) and presses against it, changing the way you urinate (wee). But prostate cancer usually starts to grow in the the outer part of the prostate so doesn’t initially affect urination.
If prostate cancer breaks out of the prostate (locally advanced prostate cancer) or spreads to other parts of the body (advanced prostate cancer), it can cause other symptoms, including:
- back pain, hip pain or pelvis pain
- problems getting or keeping an erection
- blood in the urine or semen
- unexplained weight loss
These symptoms can all be caused by other health problems. But it’s still important to tell your GP.
NOTE: If you do notice changes in the way you urinate, this is more likely to be a sign of a very common non-cancerous problem called an enlarged prostate, or another health problem. But it’s still a good idea to get it checked out by a doctor.
(Source: Prostate Cancer UK. For more information, click here)
Testicular cancer – what to look out for
- a lump or swelling in part of one testicle
- a testicle that gets bigger
- pain or discomfort in the testicle or scrotum.
- a heavy scrotum
Your symptoms are unlikely to be cancer, but it's important to get them checked by a doctor.
(Source: Cancer Research UK. For more information, click here)
To find out more about Movember, click here
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