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Season 2013/14 preview: SPEC FC

    Competitions entered: MSFL Division One and both cups

    New signing: Simon Bagel. The best name in Jewish football, and a fine centre back

    Which of the signings excites you most? We really feel we’ve done a good pitta business in signing Bagel as defending is his bread and butter

    Have any players left? We bid farewell to fan favourite Ashley Lawrence who has joined his youngest brother Darren’s team, Jewdinese, for an undisclosed fee

    What are your hopes for the season? We’re looking for a third successive promotion. This time … to the big time …. The PREMIER LEAGUE. We could also really do with a cup run to boost finances having just had planning permission approved to build the ‘Adam Lenz Memorial’ stand (he’s not dead, just immortalised)

    Which players would you describe as the 'ones to watch' and why? The permanent signing of Dave Newman after last season’s loan deal has left the fans’ chins firmly on the floor. His rare mix of trickery with devilishly handsome good looks makes him a favourite for male and female fans alike

    Which teams do you consider your strongest challengers? The scouts have informed us that Neasden A and Chigwell will be the teams to beat. And beat them we shall

    Captain: Ashley Burns

    Team sponsor: Challenge Sport & Education (CSE)

    Home ground: Split between Brunel University & The Ark (Wembley)

    What will your team bring to the league this season? A brand spanking new home kit, technical excellence, more fans than players and finally ... Bananas … and plenty of them!

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