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Communal spaces don’t feel safe to us, say women who face harassment and denial

Jewish women feel behaviour is allowed to go unpunished

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Man touching woman's elbow isolated on black - sexual harassment in business office

As the UK grapples with a reckoning on sexual harassment and public safety in the wake of Sarah Everard’s death, Jewish women have told the JC they feel that harassment from men is allowed to go unpunished due to the community’s unwillingness to confront such behaviour.

One woman, 24, described a communal atmosphere in which women who speak out are made to feel belittled and many refuse to criticise the perpetrators, who are sometimes defended due to their charity work or personalities.

“I thought someone I knew had been inappropriate with me and then my friend said, ‘I’m sorry this happened to you, but I have known him since I was four. We go to the same shul. We went to school together. I can’t say anything. It’s really awkward,” she said.

She added: “The community as a whole can be quite insular and people want to protect each other. There’s also, ‘Oh, he’s such a nice guy’ or ‘He’s done so much charity work.’”

Another woman who worked for a Jewish organisation many years ago said there had been “a fair amount of creepy gropers” at the time.

“I was once physically chased round an interview room by a communal macher,” she said.

“Sadly, all my contemporaries took it as par for the course. The other thing I would say is that it didn’t seem to matter whether you were particularly attractive or not.

“Everyone was fair game. Jewish communal life back in the day was almost entirely male-dominated.”

Another woman who recently worked at another Jewish organisation, 40, described an exchange she had with a senior male colleague who, commenting on her clothes, said she looked “really sexy”.

“I found it really uncomfortable but you don’t feel like you can say anything like, ‘I would prefer it if you didn’t speak to me that way’ because it would create a bad feeling,” she said, adding:

“He was known for being quite flirty but I never invited him to flirt with me. I’m married with kids and just want a friendly and professional relationship with my colleagues.”

While the Everard case has hit home for many in the community, it has also forced a discussion about the treatment of women and their fears in broader society.

Other Jewish women who spoke to the JC reported incidents that occurred in non-Jewish public spaces. A 32-year-old related a “very scary” incident in which she had been followed home one evening. “I was on a bus coming home after work in the evening, but not late, and a random man started talking to me. I spoke to him out of politeness but when I got off the bus, he got off too and started following me.

“I told him to leave me alone but he followed me all the way home. I felt too threatened to engage in any further discussion. It was only when I called my intercom to get flatmates down to help me get rid of him that he went away.” A 26-year-old, meanwhile, said a man had exposed himself on a Tube carriage in front of her. “It was disgusting and I moved seats to get away from him,” she said.

Most women say they have experienced some form of sexual harassment in a public space, but younger women report by far the highest incidence of such events.

A recent survey from UN Women UK found it affects a staggering 97 per cent of women aged between 18 and 24 across the UK.

According to Jewish Women’s Aid, research also shows that 16 to 25-year-olds are the group most affected by relationship abuse.

In a bid to tackle the issue, the domestic violence charity rolled out a consent-training initiative across UK universities and Jewish schools in 2016 focusing on healthy relationships.

JWA expanded the programme last summer after an all-male Jewish fraternity at the University of St Andrews found itself at the centre of multiple sexual assault allegations.

The charity’s education manager Ilana Hutchinson said she felt it was important for schools and other organisations in the community to deal with the issue.

“I would really like to see all Jewish schools and organisations engaging with us so that we can make sure we’re giving Jewish boys and girls the chance to address these critical issues at a time when they’re forming relationships,” she said.

Ms Hutchinson added: “The policing minister has talked about the need to educate boys about these issues at school.

“Having worked in Jewish educational settings for many years, challenging these ideas and attitudes that lead to harmful behaviours, we know that these problems exist in our community too.

“Just this week we have been contacted by a number of youth-focused organisations asking for our support.

“We have now written to all mainstream Jewish schools and youth movements to restate our offer of specialist educational sessions, so that we can make sure we’re giving Jewish boys and girls the chance to address these critical issues at a time when they’re forming relationships.”

Ms Everard’s case was an “extreme outcome of violence against women and girls” but it also underpinned harmful attitudes, she said.

“Harassment, name-calling in the school corridors, unwanted touching in teenage relationships – it’s the outcome of being socialised to see women as possessions or sexual objects, rather than as equal human beings.

“We need to stop believing this is simply about ‘a few bad apples’, and actually challenge the culture that creates this harmful environment for women.”

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