I thought my colleagues were kidding when they revealed the new Jewish plotline in EastEnders.

But, alas, they were not. Teens Jodie Gold and Darren Miller were about to consummate their relationship when – in probably the most ridiculous British soap scene ever – she ran screaming out of the room at the sight of his unclothed body.

On Monday we found out why, when Jodie confided that Darren’s generative organ (not the term she used) was “just not Jewish enough”.

She explained that she was not as Jewish as her dad but more so than her mum which made her “kind of middling Jewish”.

While we await the definitive ruling on her Jewish status from the Albert Square dayanim, poor Darren was left to consult circumcision guides online.

I half-expected the announcement after the programme: “If you have been affected by any of the issues raised… please phone the London Beth Din.”