The Diary enjoys a preposterous Zionist conspiracy theory, and this week we have two crackers.

Steven Spielberg’s Oscar-winning D-Day epic, Saving Private Ryan, was Zionist propaganda. According to an Iranian documentary about Hollywood cinema, the eponymous soldier was called Ryan because of the similarity of the name to “Zion”. Moreover, claims the documentary, “prominent films like Saving Private Ryan highlight the role of Jewish soldiers. By exaggerating this role, the Zionists seem to be trying to achieve legitimacy for their post-war actions.”

Meanwhile, a German academic has claimed that the Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics in 1972 sacrificed themselves voluntarily.

Sports historian Arnd Kruger said the murdered athletes had prior knowledge of the attack but had decided to stay on, so as to become martyrs for the Jewish state. We still think the grassy knoll is the best explanation.