As Channel 4's Big Brother hurtles towards oblivion - at last - on Friday, consider the spiritual welfare of our own dear Vanessa Feltz.

As I write, the blond broadcaster, who volunteered to take part in the final programme, is still cocooned with fellow-celebrities in the televised den and may remain so during Rosh Hash-anah unless she is evicted beforehand.

Just in case she should go festively without, offerings of apple and honey and pomegranate seeds should be left outside the Big Brother house in Borehamwood.

And should she still be there on Thursday, ask a friendly neighbourhood rabbi to pop down and serenade her with a shofar.