1. Make colour-coded zones around your house. Place matching footprints along the floor to lead you to them. 

2. Do not go anywhere unless you can find a large body of water to walk around before you get there. 

3. Do not speak without first finding a catchy title for what you plan to say, and advertising it in advance. For example, at breakfast time you might choose:

'Snap, Crackle and Pop: maybe it's someone else's turn to make a noise.'

4. If you were staying in family accommodation, put a lock on each of your bedrooms. Ensure the keys are identical and unmarked. 

5. All utterances must be given a Jewish slant. For example, you might say: 

'I've studied Bava Kamma 30a and several other relevant Talmudic tractates, and have established that it's your turn to put the bins out.'

6. When you pass a distant acquaintance in the street, do not fail to stop for a chat. It is important to find out how they slept last night, what they have learned today, and when was the last time they visited this particular street. 

7. Do not speak without first issuing handouts to all listeners. Only one between two, mind. 

8. Take your pudding leftovers, cut them into triangles and serve them at breakfast.

9. Think one of your neighbours might need a babysitter? Offer to sit in the corridor outside their children's bedrooms. It doesn't matter if you don't know them. 

10. Whenever you finish speaking, ask if others in the room have any questions. Encourage them to make a lengthy speech before getting to the point. 

@susanreuben