Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

Dear Meghan...

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are getting married next year. So is Rosa Doherty. And she's got a few words of advice

    Meghan and her ginger boy
    Meghan and her ginger boy Photo: Getty Images

    Dear Meghan,

    It has been brought to my attention that you’re getting married next year to your very own prince. Mazeltov! Guess what? Me, too.

    I’m sure you didn’t mean to try and upstage me. After all, you must have seen my engagement announcement — it was in the JC. And our food editor wrote a blog post about my guy’s romantic proposal. OK, Harry roasted a chicken for you (was it a Friday night?), but my man smashed an avocado to spell out his proposal on toast. Impressive, eh?

    The Chief Rabbi tweeted his congratulations to both of you. Well, when I announced that I was getting married, he called me personally. But he is a really busy man, so don’t feel too disheartened.

    Scheduling your wedding for May when mine is in July — I’m not delighted.

    However, I’m willing to overlook this poor timing, because falling in love is a wonderful thing and I think we have a lot in common.

    We’re both multi-cultural feminist women in our 30s, and we’ve found happiness with unlikely ginger boys who have a habit of breaking the rules. Plus we both have friends who work in fashion — very useful when you’re planning a wedding. Mine, a stylist, says “less is more” and “Israeli-designed dresses often leave little to the imagination,” pieces of advice which I’m sure you’ll find useful.

    And I hear your mate, designer Misha Nonoo, fancies herself as a bit of a shadchan. Another thing we have in common. I was set up by a Jewish girlfriend, too, who organised her birthday party just so I could meet my beloved.

    Since you and Harry began dating in July 2016 the Jewish community has longed to claim you, even though we’ve had to accept that you’re not actually Jewish. Nor is your dad. It’s just that we’ve been after a real Jewish princess for some time. All the signs were there — your real name is Rachel, people think you’re Sephardi, and you’ve (sorry to bring it up) already been married to Jewish film producer Trevor Engelson, from Great Neck, New York. Luckily for Harry, that didn’t go so well.

    Your first wedding (sorry to harp on) has been described as Jewish, as it featured  a “Jewish chair dance”. Maybe you felt a little disappointed that your supposed Jewish wedding  took place on the beach (ugh, sandy toes).

    Luckily, your second wedding will be much more like a real Jewish wedding, featuring glorious hats (maybe check out your new cousin Beatrice’s choice beforehand) much tradition, and plenty of food. It’ll just be in a church. Your future sons are likely to have a bris though. Talk to the Chief Rabbi about it, if he ever calls you.

    I have to confess, I was always going to marry Harry if it didn’t work out for me, so I’m glad he has found you. You clearly make him happy. You seem like the kind of girl he needs.

    So, as this is a time for celebrating, I’ll forgive you for upstaging me in the 2018 wedding-of-the-year stakes.

    We’ve a lot to get done. And my table-plan stress pales in significance to your dilemmas. I’d hate to have to worry about the broiges if you don’t invite the Trumps.  Although, if you’re as like me as I think you are, you won’t lose sleep about offending people you think might spoil the atmosphere.

    Just one thing.  Try not to wear the same dress as mine, because that would be really awkward for you.

    Lots of love to you and Harry,

     

    Rosa x

     

Community News

Rabbi reveals chronic fatigue battle

Rosa Doherty

Fri, 15:37

Rabbi reveals chronic fatigue battle
UK News

Charedi rabbi defends Diane Abbott

Rosa Doherty

Wed, 13:19

Charedi rabbi defends Diane Abbott
UK News

Autistic artist Jake Chodesh paints celebrities for charity

Rosa Doherty

Friday, April 13, 2018

Autistic artist Jake Chodesh paints celebrities for charity
Community News

'Join stem cell register to help grandma find match for transplant'

Rosa Doherty

Thu, 13:34

'Join stem cell register to help grandma find match for transplant'
Community News

True East Ender is mourned after death at 101

Rosa Doherty

Tue, 14:02

True East Ender is mourned after death at 101
UK News

Labour drops Ken Loach

Rosa Doherty

Friday, April 13, 2018

Labour drops Ken Loach
Community News

JNF UK gives emotional showcase to music composed in concentration camps

Rosa Doherty

Wed, 13:24

JNF UK gives emotional showcase to music composed in concentration camps
UK News

Finding ways to cope with autism can help with family life

Rosa Doherty

Friday, April 13, 2018

Finding ways to cope with autism can help with family life
Blogs

Let's talk about sex

The JC Comment Blog

Rosa Doherty

Friday, April 13, 2018

Let's talk about sex