It's quite some feat by Katie Mitchell, the director of this risible Lucia di Lammermoor, to reduce the audience to almost uncontrollable laughter as Lucia and Alisa try to kill the bound, blindfolded Arturo. It's certainly funnier than the average sitcom. But I somehow doubt that was Mitchell's intention.

The sniggers around me when it was "revealed" that Lucia is actually up the duff, and the whole story apparently revolves around this - something no previous production since the premiere in 1835 had spotted - almost drowned out the music.

Unless you enjoy watching operatic staples being butchered, avoid this. The production is barely worth comment beyond its sheer silliness.

Musically, it's a bit better, although Israeli conductor Daniel Oren appears from his sluggish tempi and sloppy ensemble to wish he was somewhere else - as did I.

Diana Damrau's Lucia is serviceable, but her tone is harsh.

A travesty. And a complete waste of the audience's time – and money.