Talmud scholars round the world will notice this week that the tractate we are learning each day, Nedarim, or Vows, is based on the opening of this parashah. "When a man makes a vow to the Eternal, or takes an oath imposing an obligation on himself, he shall not profane his words, all that crosses his lips, he must do."

The situation is different for a woman. If she is still in her father's house, if he hears them, her father can choose to let her words stand or he can restrain her and cancel them. So, too, when she marries. A husband can cancel her vows, or allow them to stand. Since vows bind men, but not always women, the tractate Nedarim of the Babylonian Talmud is part of the Order of Women.

It sounds straightforward. But the Hebrew, lo yachel d'varo, relates to the language of defilement and violation. Why the language of desecration, the opposite meaning of holiness? Can words themselves be desecrated? Rashi explains that a person must not profane their language, to make their words unsacred. And Chizkuni, living in 13th -century France, explains that we should not release ourselves from our vows entirely privately.

In other words, we profane our personal integrity when we do not fully own our vows, or our intentions, within ourselves as well as to others. Yet however we understand it, the Torah does not allow this integrity for a woman. Her promises, her vows, may always be overridden. It was the reality of the Ancient Near East. How have these ideas filtered down to us today? Especially when we consider that this word the Torah uses, to do with curses, profanity and violation, nearly always relates to our sexual conduct and to our bodies, and not to women's words, hearts and minds.