Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

Bride and Groom not seeing each other before the wedding

    There is a widespread custom for the bride and groom not to see each other during the week before their wedding (or at least for a few days or, failing that, on the day of the wedding itself.) This is quite a recent custom, and the source is unclear.

    The Rema (Rabbi Moses Isserles) writes in the 16th century that bride and groom should only see each other in the company of chaperones in the run-up to their wedding.

    There are, though, reasons why the custom seems like a good idea. Firstly, absence makes the heart grow fonder; separation can heighten the couple’s love when they are reunited on their wedding day. Secondly, the days before a wedding can be a pretty stressful and unromantic time, full of niggling issues around last-minute table plan changes, flower arrangements, clashing outfits, etc which could cause wear and tear on the couple’s relationship if they get too involved.

Jewish ways

Not sleeping on Rosh Hashanah

Rabbi Julian Sinclair

Not sleeping on Rosh Hashanah
Jewish ways

Censoring Aleinu

Rabbi Julian Sinclair

Censoring Aleinu
Jewish ways

Veggie cheeseburgers

Rabbi Julian Sinclair

Veggie cheeseburgers
Jewish ways

Reading the ketubah

Rabbi Julian Sinclair

Reading the ketubah
Jewish ways

Reciting psalm 27 in Ellul

Rabbi Julian Sinclair

Reciting psalm 27 in Ellul
Jewish ways

Havdalah before Tishah B'av

Rabbi Julian Sinclair

Havdalah before Tishah B'av
Jewish ways

Thirteen Attributes

Rabbi Julian Sinclair

Thirteen Attributes
Jewish ways

Dedicating a new home

Rabbi Julian Sinclair

Dedicating a new home
Jewish ways

Spilling wine at Havdalah

Rabbi Julian Sinclair

Spilling wine at Havdalah