If anyone has ever wondered whether the world needed a fifth installment of the Jurassic Park franchise, then they can bask safely in the knowledge that the answer is in fact, a resounding no. Still, whether we like it or not, the follow up to the 2015 sequel Jurassic World is finally here, and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that it is the kind of production which will make any self-respecting fan of the original trilogy wonder how far Hollywood is prepared to go to completely destroy the legacy of one of its most beloved franchises for the sake of a few extra bucks.
Despite all the signs pointing to the contrary, after all who didn’t think that enlisting the help of acclaimed Spanish director J.A. Bayona (The Orphanage, The Impossible) would be an inspired choice, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom still manages to surpass its predecessor in the silliness and hackneyed ideas stakes in this messy, contrived and unbelievably dull new instalment.
Three years after the events which led to the destruction of the Jurassic World luxury resort, Isla Nublar faces a new catastrophe when a dormant volcano awakes and threatens to engulf the whole island, killing every dinosaur on it. Lured back onto the fateful resort by original Jurassic Park founder Sir Benjamin Lockwood’s ambitious new C.E.O Eli Mills (Rafe Spall) with a promise of saving its prehistoric inhabitants from a second extinction, former resort manager Clare (Bryce Dallas Howard) and dinosaur expert Owen (Chris Pratt) find themselves fighting for their lives when the supposed rescue mission takes a turn for the sinister.
Back in his best self-deprecating and wisecracking guise, even the hugely likeable Chris Pratt struggles to make a role which was undoubtedly written with him in mind, seem predicable and veering on the schmaltzy. Bryce Dallas Howard offers more of the same old “fish out of water" cliché-ridden performance, and despite her best efforts, struggles to bring anything of substance to the proceedings. Elsewhere, newcomers Daniella Pineda and Justice Smith (Paper Towns, Everyday), presumably brought in to inject some new life into this moribund franchise, present two of the most believable characters in this whole sorry affair.
Bayona and writers Colin Trevorrow and Derek Connolly offer a muddled storyline held together by some ridiculously facile tropes, which even Toby Jones’s brilliant scenery-chewing performance as duplicitous dino trader Gunnar Eversol couldn’t save from its sheer stupidity. And if all that wasn’t enough to convince you of its complete and utter pointlessness, the film also suffers greatly from simply not having enough Jeff Goldblum in it. Reprising his Ian Malcolm role from the original trilogy, Goldblum makes a total of two appearances, which is perhaps the greatest tragedy of them all. A tired old franchise which needs to be put out of its misery for the sake of its fans.
