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Trying to keep track of it all

    London Olympic conversation number one, in a taxi. "Going to the Games?" I ask the cabbie. "No mate… I've got no tickets," he said sadly. Did you apply for any tickets? "No, I didn't"

    "You know something? I think there's a connection here ," I said.

    Two weeks ago - after a lifetime spent totally dedicated to the single-minded pursuit of hating sports of any kind - I decided to change my viewpoint and become the most enthusiastic fan in the country of the London Olympics.

    So, ever since the Opening Ceremony, I have been an Ambassador for the Games. Over those past 14 days I must have welcomed thousands of people to London - whether they wanted to be welcomed or not.

    "Have a great Games!" I shout to total strangers.

    Who made me an Ambassador? Me. That's who

    "Who appointed you as an Ambassador?'' I can you hear you ask. Me … that's who! I'm self-appointed. Got a problem with that?

    I'd read there are 70,000 volunteers at the Games so I decided to make it 70,0001. OK?

    My inspirational story of how I stopped hating sport and learnt to love it (soon to be a major movie at a cinema near you - starring either Brad Pitt or Woody Allen) all began last April when, huddled over my computer in my pyjamas at the stroke of midnight, I clicked on for the first of what would become a new world record of over 2.5 million visits to the Olympics tickets site.

    I was determined to go to as many events as humanly possible, no matter what the cost to my body or self-sacrifice involved. From that day on, I trained day and night, clicking on the site thousands of times a day. Three am? Four? It didn't matter to me. I wore out 33 keyboards and suffered multiple niggling thumb injuries but it has all been worth it. I couldn't have done it without the support of my parents and family.

    I had ticket alerts coming in 24 hours a day and, by a combination of single-mindedness, determination, persistence, enthusiasm and more than a dash of ruthless ambition and chutzpah, I achieved my goal.

    I've attended everything that's moved… including the Opening Ceremony for the Olympic car park. I wasn't going to miss anything. Seb and Boris haven't been able to turn around without bumping into me. The Queen parachuted into the seat next to mine. I told her it was taken. "But I'm the Queen," she said. "OK you can sit there," I said.

    London Olympic conversation number two. Monday August 6, Oxford Circus. "Welcome to London!" I said to a man in an Olympic t-shirt carrying a Jamaican flag! "I'm from Hackney," he said.

    Last weekend, I was on my way by scooter to the beach volleyball and I had one spare ticket .

    Stopping at the traffic lights, I shouted to the driver next to me: "Would you like to come to the beach volleyball? I've got a spare ticket."

    "I'd love to!" he said, "but I can't."

    Why not? I asked.

    "I'm working," he said. "What do you do ?"I asked

    "I'm a bus driver," he said. "So?" I asked.

    "I'm driving this bus."

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