I'm sitting on the South West Trains service to Bournemouth. I must say the friendliness of the guards has improved. This message has just come over the tannoy from the very well-spoken (female) guard: I've now met most of you and, I must say, it's been a real pleasure.
...If you're worried about anything, do please catch me as I walk through the train. Please don't just sit there worrying. I wonder what she'll have to say when I tell her about my ruinous Royal Ascot. 30 races and all I mamaged was 2 winners and a 3rd.