Posts by Alan Montague

Chelsea football club to investigate Benayoun abuse

Alan Montague — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 10:03:21 +0100

Chelsea football club is investigating claims that its player Yossi Benayoun was racially abused by the club's own supporters at the weekend.

The Israeli international was the target for boos and antisemitic taunts from a section of the Chelsea fans when he came on as a substitute during the match against Liverpool at Anfield on Sunday.

Benayoun later tweeted that "sometimes people are crossing the limit. And I'm sure the club will sort it".

The player has reportedly been told by Chelsea officials that the club will punish any supporters found guilty of racially abusing him.

A Chelsea source has said that the football club maintains a zero tolerance stance towards racism.

Review: Antony Sher in The Captain of Kopenick

Alan Montague — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 11:44:59 +0000

Categorised by the Nazis as “half Jewish” because his Protestant grandfather was born a Jew, the popular German dramatist Carl Zuckmayer managed to escape the clutches of the Gestapo by moving to America. They got his play though, and banned it in 1933.

And with Adrian Noble’s production, which evokes the colour and chaos of 1910 Berlin, its working-class protests, its soldiers in pointy helmets and Anthony Ward’s huge, cubist backdrop of the city, it is not hard to see why.

Because, at the centre of the tumult, is Zuckmayer’s small-time crook Willy Voight, played here by a terrifically in-form Antony Sher, who subverts just about every national characteristic that reactionary Germany held dear.

Released from prison, Voight is sent by bureaucrats from pillar to post as he searches for the identity papers he needs to live as a German citizen. It is a journey that takes him from the doss-house to the mayor’s office, by which time he has swapped his rags for an army captain’s uniform. Finding himself with a platoon of soldiers at his command, he does exactly what the real-life Voight, on whom Zuckmayer is based, did — he takes the contents of the mayor’s safe and walks out.

Sher is subtly brilliant at depicting a man whose sense of social injustice never quite gets the better of his criminal instincts. Under Noble’s direction, the play, here given a vibrant new translation by Ron Hutchinson, makes its point about the dangers of conformist societies powerfully enough.

But it inevitably packs less punch in 21st-century London than it did in 1930s Germany. And in a production of this scale and exuberance, the warning feels a little like shouting from the rooftops a message that most people agree with. (www.nationaltheatre.org.uk)

Fitness: How to exercise without stepping out of your front door

Alan Montague — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 14:25:15 +0000

Exercising at home can help you stick to a regime — you save time and, without gym fees, money too. This workout incorporates all the major muscle groups, with each exercise to last for 30 seconds -1 minute. In between each exercise, spend 30 seconds–1 minute stretching different muscles. (Always consult your doctor before beginning a new programme.)

Star Squat: Squat to floor then walk hands out until in plank position. Do a push-up on knees or toes, then walk the hands back to a squat and stand up. Add a star jump at the end to increase intensity.

The Bicycle: In tummy crunch position, lift shoulders off floor, bend knees, extend right leg and clasp bent left knee, continuously switch legs.

Running Plank: Start in plank position and bring right leg towards right elbow, return to plank position. Continuously alternate legs.

Calf Raises: Stand on bottom stair, hold rail for balance then drop both heels to the floor. Repeat.

Shoulder Press: Use two cans (or weights). Stand with feet shoulder-width apart, bring cans to shoulder height then straighten arms overhead.

Hip Circles: On all fours, bend and lift one leg and move in a circular pattern both backward and forward.

Hamstring Kick-Back: Stand with feet hip distance apart, palms on bottom. Kick heels up to your bottom. Keep tummy muscles engaged and don’t lean forward.

Forward lunges with bicep curl: Use two cans, feet hip distance apart, knees soft. As you lunge without letting knees go over toes or leaning forward, bend arms bringing cans to shoulders, keeping elbows at side of body. Drop back knee as close to floor as possible. Step back to start position and repeat with opposite leg.

Tricep dips: Use stairs or a chair against a wall. Aim for straight legs otherwise start by bending knees. Keep elbows close to body, back parallel.

Back Extension: Lie face down on your tummy, arms and legs extended, eyes to floor. Simultaneously lift arms and legs — as soon as the stretch is felt in lower back, hold position.

Cool down with stretches: Fit the workout into your schedule five times a week and you will notice an improvement in your overall fitness, including cardiovascular , muscle endurance and flexibility.

About that 'nightmare' Shabbat - the rabbi responds

Alan Montague — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 14:41:48 +0000

Rabbis worldwide have formed a secret society and many of us meet together regularly to discuss issues at hand. These include world domination, subliminal messaging and, of course, how much whisky is religiously necessary for a proper traditional kiddush.

One of our traditions in this rabbinic association (affectionately known as SERMON — Society of Enlightened Rabbinic Masterminds Omniscient and Neurotic) is our point-tallying system. These points are awarded on a scale from one to 10 based upon a rabbi’s acts of piety and saintliness beyond the call of duty. Attaining points is difficult and no rabbi has ever received a 10. That is until one particular Friday evening. Let me tell you about it.

Our family enjoy a close relationship with our congregation, regularly inviting families for homely, festive meals. Looking through the spreadsheet one day, I noticed that a new family had joined the community — a husband and wife with three children. Lovely, I thought, let’s have them over.

I called the husband, a Mr Paul Lester, and straightaway knew that something was singularly odd. I asked him if he and his family would like to join us for a Shabbat dinner and he inquired if there was any particular night of the week I had in mind.

Wondering perhaps how to make an awkward situation less so, I told him that coming up in a few weeks’ time was an informal Friday night community after-dinner get-together and invited them to join us. Following the meal we would meet some other families. He told me this was perfect and was thrilled that I had asked him and his wife to speak at this get-together. He explained that he and his wife were a kind of media team and between them had interviewed or were on close terms with much of the music world.

Hang on, I thought. Had I really asked him to speak? Not wanting to offend him I declared that he and his wife certainly made a cachet pair, but he wasn’t so sure he knew what cachet meant. This was an unusual start to a relationship.

The evening itself turned out to more interesting than alarming. However, my subconscious may have repressed some of the more salient points of the night. I vaguely recall greeting a large man resembling a lumberjack rather than a hip journalist and close confidante of the Beach Boys. Paul displayed his keen interest in our Friday night meal by gulping wine before kiddush and devouring the entire platter of hors d’oeuvre. He obviously was attempting to ensure that our other guests wouldn’t make similar faux pas. What a mensch!

At the get-together, his anecdotes were so entertaining, we could almost completely forget these earlier embarrassments, and I think I was able to set his mind at rest over the few yawns he says he spotted among the audience.

I count the evening as a thorough success, not least because at the next SERMON session, I was awarded an unprecedented 10 points. Thank you Paul, and welcome to the community.

Questions of identity? For us, they're a laughing matter

Alan Montague — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 11:29:45 +0000

Philippa Fordham writes:
Jews are funny. Without meaning to, we say and do the most ridiculous things. Added to this we have great warmth. I believe my comedy has inherited this and comes from a warm place. I try to make it affable and inviting. When I’m on stage it’s like I’m standing at my front door saying: “Come in, take your coat off, have a cup of tea, and tell me who died this week”.

I love being Jewish and knowing that most Jews around the world are getting together every Friday night for a good meal and a row. There’s so much rich and vacuous information flying around and always the big topic is “who died?” and “are you going to the funeral?” and “take the A41 it’s quicker than the A402”. I swear I know the fastest route to every Jewish cemetery.

When I was eight years old my parents took me to see Funny Girl, starring Barbra Streisand. This film had a huge impact on me. As well as the gut-wrenching singing, I saw how Babs was smothered by so much emotion from family and friends interfering in her life, coupled with her desire to do something out of the ordinary.

I also recognised the chutzpah oozing out of her. I think it oozes from most Jews, even the grumpy, cantankerous and fractious. In fact, the more curmudgeonly, the funnier they are. There’s humour in the lack of humour.

When I was a 17-year-old my friend’s grandmother referred to me as the “witchy-looking girl”. I was mortified, but I saw the truth and humour in her comment — I had uncontrollable, wild hair, which must be blow-dried by several people on scaffolding.

(This was before the invention of Frizz Ease by the eminent Jew, John Frieda — God bless you John).

One very cold wintery morning recently I was visiting my parents and their dear friend Stanley (aged 75) popped in. Stanley has a wonderful hangdog face accompanied with a grouchy disposition. But behind that face is a kind, warm, humorous man.

He sauntered into the kitchen from the hall and while removing his hat and scarf, came to a halt, looked around and proclaimed: “This weather… it’s dangerous!” Heartbreaking. True. Funny.

When I write sitcoms, often many of the characters are Jews. Their qualities, habits and idiosyncrasies all come from the Jews I have met who say the most ridiculous, crazy, heartfelt, stupid things that are so often true. They’re not so much three dimensional as 10 dimensional.

While queuing to greet a widow sitting shivah, the woman in front of me threw herself at her and wailed: “What happened?” The widow replied: “He died!” Heartbreaking. True. Funny.

I have been surrounded by Jewish people all my life and their neuroses, morals, beliefs, sense of honour and, above all, sense of humour have shaped who I am and what I write — which, I like to think, is heartbreaking, true and funny.

Philippa Fordham performs her new one-woman comedy show, ‘Me And My Big Mouth’, at the Leicester Square Theatre, London WC2 on January 31 and March 20 at 7pm.Tickets £7.50. Box Office 0844 873 3433 or at www.leicestersquaretheatre.com. Visit www.philippafordham.com for more information

Bennett Arron writes:
So what did you think? Did you enjoy it? Did it make you laugh/cry/both? Did you think I looked fat in it? What do you mean: “What’s he talking about?” I’m obviously referring to my recent BBC Documentary, The Kosher Comedian.

I can’t tell you the number of letters and emails I’ve had from people telling me how much they enjoyed it. Well, actually I can tell you. It’s six. But that’s not the point.

In the programme, I traced my family roots from Lithuania to Port Talbot, south Wales. I hadn’t realised that such a great number of Jews had been forced out of Russia, Lithuania and surrounding areas due to the pogroms of the late 19th and early 20th century.

They left on ships late at night and there were stories that these ships stopped at places like Port Talbot because they thought it was New York. Now I know that the steel works looks pretty at night, but let’s be honest, it’s not the Manhattan skyline.

I was asked to make the programme as a result of my stand-up show JEWELSH, which I’ve been touring around the country. Even though the show is based around the fact that I am both Jewish and Welsh, people still think I’m making it up. Really. I’ve been a comedian for quite a few years and I’m usually asked three questions after gigs: “Where are the toilets?”; “Are you famous?” and “Are you really Jewish and Welsh?” I think that if you have to ask me if I’m famous then you’ve more or less answered your own question.

I suppose it is unusual having these two sides of my identity. I often feel I have a dragon on one shoulder and a rabbi on the other. I’ve always thought that would be a great name for a pub, the Dragon and Rabbi. I might give Wetherspoons a call.

Growing up, my family were the only Jews in the area, so my Jewish identity was always very strong, but learning more about my heritage made it even stronger. I have to say, I had a very traditional Jewish/Welsh upbringing — for example my mother would make chicken soup with just a hint of leek, and finding a paschal lamb for Seder night was never a problem.

I am proud of the fact that I am the only comedian on the stand-up circuit who has kept kosher his whole life. Comedian friends of mine sometimes criticise me for talking about being Jewish on stage, as if it’s something I should keep quiet about. Yet these same comedians are quite happy to devote most of their stage time to the fact that they are atheists.

People ask me how important my being Jewish is to my comedy. The truth is, it’s fundamental. Even if I’m not specifically speaking about my religion, my background and upbringing dictates the manner in which I speak. So whether I am performing at Jewish events or to a room full of drunken stag and hen nights, everything I say is based on who I am and where I’m from.

Speaking of being drunk, someone recently asked me why Jews can’t drink alcohol. I explained that they can, but that usually don’t for two reasons. Firstly, drinking takes up valuable eating time, and secondly when you are drunk you relax and forget about your problems. Don’t take that away from us, that’s all we have…

Bennett Arron will performing JEWELSH at the Radlett Theatre on January 27. Box office: 01923 859291. More details at www.bennettarron.com

Fitness: Ready, steady, exercise

Alan Montague — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 15:11:30 +0000

January is traditionally the time when we set goals and many of us will have decided to begin an exercise programme. That’s the easy bit. Actually starting, and sustaining it, is much tougher. So here are a few facts to bolster your resolve.

We all know that exercise can help us burn extra calories, but there is also irrefutable medical evidence that it brings a collection of other benefits. People who exercise for just 30 minutes a day, three times a week, lower their risk of heart disease and strokes, Type 2 diabetes, osteoarthritis and some types of cancers. Endorphins or “happy hormones” are released when you exercise and your body rewards you by boosting your mood, energy levels and enhancing quality of sleep.

Muscle mass is more metabolically active than fat so your body burns more calories every day the fitter you become.

So what should be your first steps along the road to better fitness? If you haven’t exercised before, or if it’s been a while, it’s always advisable to consult your doctor before you start.

To kick off, you should be concentrating on gently raising your heart rate. Your exercise should leave you perspiring and feeling slightly out of breath, but still able to hold a conversation.

Warm up for five-10 minutes to ensure adequate blood flow to your muscles. Try a maximum of three sets of 12 star jumps, walk/run up and down stairs or simply march on the spot.

Then start your main workout with a brisk walk, water aerobics or ride a bike on level ground, challenging yourself, if you feel able, to tackle the odd hill. Initially, you should to work out for 20 minutes. This can be increased as you get fitter.

For a home alternative, just 10 minutes of moderate intensity skipping can burn up to 100 calories.
It’s also important to spend five-10 minutes cooling down at the end of your workout. Decrease activity until your heart beat returns to the pre-exercise rate. End with some tummy exercises and finally relax with some stretches which will improve your flexibility.

Fitness has many components — cardiovascular, strength, speed, power, muscle endurance, balance and agility — and is an evolving process of which consistency is the key. Try putting your exercise time-slots in your calendar until working out becomes part of your routine.

Shin Bet story that evokes John le Carré

Alan Montague — Sun, 21 Oct 2012 10:15:00 +0100

The cover of this novel proclaims it is Israeli espionage in the tradition of John le Carré. This is more than publisher’s hype. Sarid does, like the great British spy writer, portray secret-service work as grubby and mundane interspersed with moments of violence, a world where the prevailing morality is grey. Most of all, it shares le Carré’s great theme of betrayal.

Sarid — a lawyer and journalist and the son of former government minister Yossi Sarid — paints a bleak picture of Israeli society, where the struggle for survival is used to justify the betrayal of friendships and personal ideals. The irony is that, in the process, Israel has betrayed its own founding principles.

The unnamed protagonist is an interrogator of terrorist suspects for the Shin Bet, using torture if he has to. During one session, he goes too far and a suspect chokes to death.

His next assignment is to pose as an aspiring writer to win the trust of Daphna, a once-promising novelist and a now disillusioned member of the liberal intelligentsia. She is an old friend of Hani, an ailing Palestinian poet whose son is a terrorist mastermind, safely ensconced in Syria.

Our spy must befriend Hani through Daphna, and persuade him to set up one last meeting with his son before Hani himself succumbs to terminal cancer. At the meeting, in supposedly safe Cyprus, as son comforts father, the Shin Bet will carry out its assassination.

But our anonymous spy, whose marriage has been destroyed by the demands of his job, falls for Daphna and forges a real friendship with Hani. He now has to decide between his duty to his country, and his feelings of love and humanity — his duty to himself if you like.

The plot echoes le Carré’s, A Most Wanted Man, where a well-meaning liberal lawyer in Germany is used to lure a prominent Islamist into a secret-service trap. More intriguingly, there are resonances with real life — Sarid’s book gained international attention by recalling the alleged Mossad killing of Hamas commander Mahmoud al-Mabhouh in Dubai in 2010.

Limassol works as a gripping spy novel (despite, for this reader, the annoying Americanisms of Barbara Harshav’s translation); how our man will resolve his dilemma is left in doubt until the end. It works, too, as a critique of Israeli society, however depressing. In Sarid’s view, the country seems to be largely populated by agents and suspects, gangsters and drug addicts and, most of all, by disappointed hopes .

David Serero: French opera star in London

Alan Montague — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 14:27:28 +0100

French baritone David Serero will be bringing his unique brand of opera to London next week. The singer, who has both performed under the baton of Placido Domingo and dueted with Jermaine Jackson, will be singing a wide range of material at a gala for Israeli food charity Meir Panim followed by a West End concert at the Dominion Theatre on October 18. Serero says he is looking forward to the performances: “There will be everything from Yiddish to opera to razz standards. It’ going to be like a big holiday to lots of musical destinations.”

For tickets visit www.dominiontheatre.com/david-serero/

Adi Nes's uneasy images of a changing Israel

Alan Montague — Sun, 07 Oct 2012 11:28:03 +0100

Adi Nes's first exhibition in the UK opens at the Jewish Museum in London on Thursday, October 11. Called The Village, it is a series of large-scale images set in an imagined rural community which seek to capture some of the fault-lines running through Israeli society.

“When I created The Village I thought to create an image like a dream,” explains Nes, one of his country's most acclaimed photographers. “In many ways dreams are fantastic and pastoral but also full of fears and all the things that we deny.”

He describes The Village as a metaphor for Israel, “a small place that was built after a tragedy”. There is an external beauty but at the same time “under the surface there is something dark and not quiet”. Certainly a sense of unease runs through the series. Nes adds that the work aims to address “the tensions between the centre and the periphery, ethnic issues such as Sephardim and Ashkenazim', as well intergenerational relationships.

The exhibition runs at the Jewish Museum, London NW1, until February 3 2013. Nes will be in conversation with Mark Nash of the Royal College of Art at the opening on Thursday, at 7.30pm. Tickets on 020 7284 7384 or visit www.jewishmuseum.org.uk

Art House: gallery

Alan Montague — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 12:24:29 +0100

Over 300 works were submitted to this year's Art House community exhibition. Here's a selection

Art attack as exhibition gets underway at Ivy House

Alan Montague — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 12:50:45 +0100

Over 200 artists, their families and friends crowded into the London Jewish Cultural Centre for the opening of the second Art House community art exhibition this week.

The exhibition, which is sponsored by the JC, attracted 312 entries, a significant increase from last year’s inaugural event. One hundred and 10 works were selected and have been hung at Ivy House, the north London home of the LJCC.

As the works were of a considerably higher quality than last year, a decision was made to award four prizes rather than last year’s two.

The first prize went to Alfred Wolfe Lester for his delicate pencil drawing of the View from Parliament Hill which was quickly bought by a collector.

The second prize was awarded to photographer Miriam Reik for her work, Looking for my Mother and Father – Postcards from the Past.

Two third prizes were awarded, one to Tony Abraham, for his painting, Market Day, Morocco, and one to Frances Balcombe for her print of Peas in a Pod.

Mr Lester said: ‘I didn’t even know there would be a prize. And I certainly did not think I would sell my work. It is all absolutely shattering.’

The exhibition continues until October 12.

Art House: It's show time for artists

Alan Montague — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:04:54 +0100

Art House, organised and hosted by the London Jewish Cultural Centre in partnership with the JC, invites amateur and professional artists to submit works for exhibition.
Entries must be submitted to the LJCC at Ivy House on August 30, August 31, September 2 or September 3. Artists must be 16 or older. The entry fee is £10 to submit one work or £25 for a maximum submission of three.
Selected works, chosen by a panel of judges, including the JC’s art critic, Julia Weiner, will be displayed from September 9 to October 11.
For details, terms and conditions and an entry form visit www.ljcc.org.uk

The doctor's just jumped out of his helicoptor. He'll see you now

Alan Montague — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 12:44:07 +0100

Every weekend, a bunch of people get together in their free-time to fly in helicopters around the country. Tony Bleetman is one of them and he loves it. “You couldn’t pay to have that much fun,” he says.

But it might not be everyone’s idea of a good time. As well as landing in fields and by the side of roads, Bleetman and his Bristol air-ambulance colleagues attend to the injured and dying, flying up to 12 missions during a shift.

Death is almost an everyday occurrence and some accident scenes can be appalling. Bleetman, despite not being paid for this aspect of his work, still looks forward to it.

He says: “People ask why I give my time for free but it’s the best day you could possibly have. You get to hang out with some very interesting people and you get to do some very high impact medical work.”

Bleetman’s day job is as a clinical director in urgent care in Kettering and a consultant in emergency medicine at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington. But, as a self-confessed adrenaline junkie, he would much rather be in the field somewhere, surrounded by “blood, mud and snot”.

He has written a book, called You Can’t Park Here, about his exploits in the air ambulance — an incident-strewn career which includes landing in a prison yard, destroying a coop-full of chickens when the chopper touched down next to an allotment, rescuing a TV aerial engineer stuck on a roof with a drill bit through his foot, and another man trapped between two vats of molten metal.

In between call-outs there is a lot of waiting around, watching TV — “endless Top Gear re-runs”, he says — which does not hold the same kind of thrill.

Bleetman was brought up in north London in a traditional Jewish household. He went to Church of England schools where he was made painfully aware that as a Jewish child he was in a very small minority.

“I encountered antisemitism but I was also quite obnoxious so I can understand why people didn’t like me. Anyway, one day the class bully said to me: ‘Why don’t you eff off to where you belong’, and I thought to myself that this wasn’t such a bad idea. So I bought a one way ticket to Israel when I was 17.”

It was during his time in Israel that his passions for medicine and aviation were ignited. He began training as a doctor while simultaneously performing his reserve duty in the army during the Lebanon War of 1982 and 1983.
But when he qualified as a doctor, he decided that what he really wanted to do was join the Israel Air Force, and he was admitted into the pilot training scheme. The training went well initially but he ran into some problems as the course progressed.

“I was a 27-year-old doctor training with 18 and 19-year-olds. I had the time of my life there. I was told I was technically gifted, but I was also cocky and poorly disciplined and did not have the attributes to be a professional pilot.”

However, that impulsiveness, or to be more precise, the ability to make quick decisions on his feet was an advantage in his chosen field of emergency medicine. And in 2003, when a doctor-led air ambulance service was set up in the UK, he immediately applied.

Unlike the previous paramedic model, where patients were patched up before being rushed to accident and emergency departments, under the doctor-led model, the hospital is brought to the patient in the field.

Bleetman explains: “There was a visionary doctor called Matthew Wise who put this thing together and I was one of the first doctors he recruited. It was a no-brainer for me. Paramedics have good skills but what they can’t deliver is critical care. We carry out emergency surgery in the field which can mean anaesthesia, opening up chests, cutting off limbs, and many of the functions of a mobile intensive-care unit.”
Bleetman offers to show me gory photos he has from recent jobs. I decline politely. Clearly, he is fine with the sight of blood. He laughs: “If it’s someone else’s blood I am OK with it, but if I cut myself shaving I will faint.”

While rescuing people at the scenes of car crashes is serious business, there have been moments of black humour in the book. Indeed, in the early days of the service there was a feeling of the Wild West about it, with a collection of unpaid volunteer pilots and medics (air ambulance services in the UK are all funded by charity to this day) working without the strict guidelines to which they now conform.

For example, there was the time when, having failed to save the life of a stab victim at a prison, Bleetman and his colleagues were instructed by police to remove all of their clothes to be used as evidence in the ensuing murder inquiry. The thought of flying back to base in their underwear was too much for the flustered medics, who refused the request in the most direct possible way. “We very nearly got arrested,” he recalls.

Landing the helicopter can also be a problem. A few years ago, the Kent air ambulance crashed, killing all on board after it became tangled in power lines. On several occasions Bleetman has had to jump from a hovering helicopter when a suitable landing place could not be found.

Once, when leaping into a field, he realised that he was falling for much longer than he had anticipated. “The crops were growing a lot higher than we thought. I must have fallen more than 20 feet and I was unconscious for a moment or two. Then I had quite a struggle to get back in the helicopter because I’m only five foot four.”

Despite the scrapes, it is a satisfying job. There have been plenty of times when he has delivered critical patients to hospitals so well-stabilised that they have been able to bypass
A&E completely.

And he is also happy that the air ambulance service has been expanded to 27 units, two-thirds of which are moving towards to the doctor-led model. As the charities become better established, they are even beginning to pay doctors for their time.

So would he like a full-time job as an air-ambulance doctor? He laughs: “I wouldn’t like it as my day job. I’m too old for it and I don’t think I could stand watching all those Top Gear re-runs.”

Jubilee recipe: raspberry, blueberry and vanilla macaroons

Alan Montague — Thu, 31 May 2012 11:01:04 +0100

Makes 36 small macaroons

INGREDIENTS
For the macaroons:

150g ground almonds

180g icing sugar

150g egg whites (approx 4 large egg whites)

60g caster sugar

3 tsp vanilla extract or one large vanilla pod
Red and blue food colouring paste (make sure you do not use liquid colouring)

For the ganache:

250ml double cream

50g unsalted butter

3 vanilla pods

220g white chocolate, finely chopped

50g pureed raspberry

50g pureed blueberry

METHOD

Mix the ground almonds, icing sugar and vanilla.

Using an electric whisk, whisk the egg whites until stiff.

Gradually add the caster sugar, a tablespoon at a time and whisk again after each tablespoon until stiff. Fold in the almond mixture.

Split the macaroon mixture into three. Leave one white. Add a little blue food colouring to one for the blueberry macaroons and a little red food colouring into the third for the raspberry macaroons.

Heat your oven to 180°C and line two large oven trays with baking parchment.

Using three different piping bags (it is OK to use three freezer bags with one corner cut off each one), pipe discs of 4cm diameter onto lined oven trays.

Leave the macaroons to rest for 30 minutes before cooking them so they form a crust on top.

Bake for 15 minutes and then place on a wire rack to cool.

Split the vanilla pods and scrape out the seeds. Put them in a large saucepan with the cream and heat until bubbles form around the edges.

Remove the pan from the heat.

Add the white chocolate and stir until it has completely melted. Leave it to cool.

Extract as much liquid from the pureed raspberries and blueberries as possible.

Split the cream and chocolate mixture into three bowls. Leave one bowl white. Add the raspberry puree to one and add blueberry puree to the third.

Put the ganaches in three piping bags. Cool in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

To assemble, pipe half the vanilla macaroons with vanilla ganache, and sandwich with the other halves.

Repeat the process with the red macaroons using the raspberry ganache, and with the blueberry macaroons using the blueberry ganache.

Sweet fennel tarte tatin

Alan Montague — Wed, 30 May 2012 14:35:43 +0100

This is an unusual take on a classic — the fennel turns soft and sweet and deliciously caramelised during cooking.

Serves 4

INGREDIENTS
2 fennel bulbs

3 eating apples

100g butter

120g caster sugar

1 tsp fennel seeds

Flour, for dusting

250g ready-made, ready-rolled all-butter puff pastry, thawed if frozen

1 egg, lightly beaten

1 tsp granulated sugar

Vanilla ice cream, to serve

METHOD
Trim each fennel bulb at the top and slice a thin layer off the bottom. Cut lengthways into 8 wedges so they remain attached at the root.

Boil a large pan of water and blanch the fennel for 1 minute, then drain.

Peel and core the apples and cut each into 8 wedges.

Meanwhile, heat up the butter and sugar together in a large frying pan until the butter has melted and the sugar has dissolved.

Add the fennel seeds, blanched fennel and apple. If they are not starting to colour after 10 minutes, drain off the caramel sauce and reserve, then return them to the pan and fry on all sides till golden.

Preheat the oven to 220°C.

Lay out the pastry on a floured surface and cut it into a 26cm circle.

Add the caramel to a 20cm oven-proof frying pan and carefully pack the apple and fennel as tightly as possible into the pan.

Warm on the hob until starting to bubble, then switch off the heat.

Lay over the pastry circle, and turn the edges back so that they come back up the sides of the pan.

Brush with the beaten egg and scatter with the granulated sugar. Prick the top a couple of times with a fork, and transfer to the oven for 35–40 minutes.

After 10 minutes, reduce the temperature to 200°C.

When golden on top, remove from the oven and cool in the pan for 5 minutes.

Place an inverted plate over the top of the pan, and with one movement, turn both over together, so that the tart comes out the right side up on the plate.

Scrape over any remaining caramel sauce, and serve warm with a helping of vanilla ice cream.

Alice Herz-Sommer: the pianist who's a true survivor

Alan Montague — Tue, 22 May 2012 10:36:26 +0100

Alice Herz-Sommer is 108 years old. She is a true survivor of the 20th century. Having journeyed from the peak of Germanic culture in the salons of Prague and Vienna through its depraved depths in the concentration camp of Theresienstadt and on to its rejuvenation in the most unexpected of all places, Israel, and latterly London, Alice has traversed the scope of humanity possibly more than any other person before her. Even her great hero, Stefan Zweig, could not withstand such a journey and took his own life in the chaos of Brazil.

Yet Alice, a pianist of outstanding accomplishment, remains supremely optimistic. It is therefore not a surprise that her life has attracted a great deal of attention. She had been the subject of numerous documentaries and at least one book before the emergence of this new title.

Understandably, therefore, Caroline Stoessinger has attempted to take a different approach. She set out to learn a personal lesson from Alice’s life: how to summon up the strength and stamina to carry on living in spite of whatever life throws at you. In many respects, that is indeed the essence of Alice’s remarkable resilience but as to where it comes from, the book does not really offer an answer.

Much of the book is a rehashing of what has already been written about Alice Herz-Sommer’s life. Where it deviates from this familiar narrative, Stoessinger seems to have relied heavily on artistic licence. That a story she relates about Alice and Golda Meir, for instance, is an invention could be ratified by checking with the still active Alice.

As a long-standing friend of Alice’s, I found myself having to suspend disbelief in order to continue through many of the book’s more gushing passages. Certainly she has met a great many people during her long life but would surely be shocked by the impression given by Stoessinger’s account that she somehow has a connection to today’s obsession with celebrity.

It is tempting to cite Alice’s love of music as the key driving force behind her fortitude and longevity. However, there were many people who loved music passionately but perished in the camps or succumbed to their own personal tragedies. While it is true that musicians often enjoy longevity — and quite understandably given that playing and memorising music keeps the brain active — it is surely the famously indefatigable Herz-Sommer optimism and belief that life is always worth living that has kept her thriving over so many years.
Stoessinger’s adulatory tone does not allow her to deal with, for example, her subject’s impatience with people whom she regards as being outside, or unfamiliar with, European culture. Herz-Sommer is by no means a snob and would never treat people who do not conform to her notion of intellect in a way other than respectful but she would rather not spend too much time with them.

As a result of her immersion in the continental scene, the dualism between mind and matter — as well as the related distinction between appearance and substance — has always been quite dominant in Alice’s thinking. Her unwavering belief in humanity stems from her admiration of what she sees as its essence rather than its appearance.

Human intellectual achievements in music, science, literature, art and philosophy help her to understand and even forgive many of humanity’s sins. At the same time, the aspiration to attach herself to such achievements beyond her own in music is what constitutes her love of life and the desire to continue as long as possible to celebrate the beauty of the human spirit.
So if there are lessons to be drawn from Herz-Sommer’s life, or her wisdom, they go far deeper than her admittedly endearing personality.

Review: Hope: A Tragedy

Alan Montague — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:18:08 +0000

Shalom Auslander
Picador, £16.99

Shalom Auslander's surname means "foreigner" in German, or "outsider". And that is certainly what he seems - a Jewish outsider alienated even from other Jews.

In his 2008 memoir, Foreskin's Lament, he described how he was damaged by his strictly Orthodox upbringing in Monsey, New York. Now, in his debut novel, he brings his outsider perspective to bear on the Holocaust, to examine whether anything more than the deepest despair is possible 70 years after the murder of the six million.

Auslander deploys a bleakly ironic and, at times, shocking humour that challenges the Jewish obsession with past misery. As his hero, Solomon Kugel, says: "Never forgetting is not the same as never shutting up about it."

This, of course, is a dangerous game. Many people won't get the joke, or see the serious intent behind the humour. They will be offended by the fun poked at figures such as Elie Wiesel and Alan Dershowitz, and insulted by irreverent references to gas chambers.

Most of all, they will be appalled by the resurrection as an ill-tempered, manipulative crone of the one Holocaust victim who most symbolises Jewish suffering. And they would be right to be appalled if the book wasn't funny - but it is. Laugh-out-loud funny.

Kugel is a thirtysomething salesman who decides to "begin again" after his sickly young son, Jonah, recovers from a serious illness. He moves with Jonah and wife Bree from Brooklyn to the rural safety of upstate New York.

But his attempt to escape the past is doomed, not least because his mother comes too. She has been traumatised by her experience as a survivor; except that experience - deportation, cattle trucks, Auschwitz, the lot- is a complete fiction, invented to compensate for her failed marriage to Kugel's father.

The closest she got was a sightseeing visit to Sachsenhausen, accompanied by an unwell Kugel. His frequent trips to the toilet meant they had less time to pose for photos at the ovens. "You ruined the whole concentration camp for me," she complained.

Worse, Kugel has bought a 200-year-old converted barn where, hiding in the attic, is the aforementioned crone, an unwanted reminder of genocide.

Kugel spends a lot of time wondering whether he should evict her or not - he imagines the potential newspaper headlines: "Six million plus one", "Jew acts like Nazi". He spends even more time debating the hope vs despair question, to the detriment of his marriage, his career and, eventually, his sanity.

His therapist, Professor Jove, is firmly in the despair camp - it is the only rational response to a world that resembles, if not actually is, hell. By contrast, Kugel's sister comforts herself with the thought that everything happens for a reason, while for Bree, the answer is simple - of course kick out the crone, we don't want our son blighted by all that affliction.

By the end, with Kugel's life having fallen apart, hope does indeed appear to be a delusion, one we are condemned to believe in over and over again, if only because the alternative is unbearable.

Hope: A Tragedy is a funny, serious book that will make some people angry, and a lot more people laugh. At least, one can only hope so.

Review: The New Jew in Film

Alan Montague — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 12:37:39 +0000

By Nathan Abrams
I. B. Tauris, £14.99

Nathan Abrams must have got through an awful lot of popcorn.

In his study of "Jewish stereotypes and self-images in contemporary cinema" since 1990, he draws on an intimate knowledge of more than 300 movies --- from comedies like American Pie and Knocked Up, to British indie flicks such as The Infidel; from Schindler's List to virtually the entire output of the Coen brothers.

So, how have things changed in the past 20 years? Abrams, who is senior lecturer in film studies at Bangor University, concludes, broadly speaking, that Jews on film have been "normalised". American Jews, in particular, feel more secure and integrated into their society than at any time in their history.

Dr Abrams says that a new breed of film-makers has brought about a "shift towards more subtle, nuanced, playful and even outrageous representations" that "signal the Jews feel more comfortable… that they have arrived." Jewishness is accepted as normal.

At the same time, the more Jews are accepted, the more they assert their difference, adopting loud and proud positions. In Knocked Up, when Ben (Seth Rogen) is asked what product makes his hair so curly, he replies: "I use Jew".

Abrams says the word "Jew" is uttered far more in post-1990 films than it was before, and now mostly "without any sense of negativity or insult".

Abrams's examples of the way this works are fascinating. He cites how Jews have traditionally been portrayed as not manly - "queer". This stereotype is played with in Roland Emmerich's 1996 blockbuster, Independence Day, in which geek scientist David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) exemplifies "queer" qualities, but ends up saving the world from aliens alongside the supremely goyish Will Smith. Barbra Streisand in this film also stands for a new type of Jewish mother, no longer overbearing and anxious, but sexy and relaxed.

Jewish women are no longer confined by the Yiddishe mama or Rose-of-the-Ghetto self-image. When Angelina Jolie, a shiksah goddess if ever there was, admits in Mr and Mrs Smith that her spy/assassin character is Jewish, it is clear how far we have come.

Such is the confidence to recast traditional Jewish concerns that, says Abrams, "no subject is beyond mockery or critique", sometimes to shocking effect. In Woody Allen's 1997 film, Deconstructing Harry, when Harry is asked if he cares about the Holocaust, he replies: "Not only do I know that we lost six million, but the scary thing is that records are made to be broken".

The New Jew in Film is basically an academic study but that should not deter readers. Abrams divides his chapters into easily digestible sections with amusing, expressive titles - Jewish Jane and James Bonds, the Jew and the Loo etc -- and provides insights that will only enhance enjoyment and appreciation of these movies. All 300 of them.

Hero's 'enough already' peak

Alan Montague — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 10:28:44 +0000

The recent news that the National Trust is planning to fence off part of Kinder Scout brought Benny Rothman to mind.

You may have heard of Kinder Scout - it is the highest point of the Peak District, and a popular destination for tourists. But Benny Rothman? Some heroes are unsung. This one appears to have dropped out of the charts completely.

Rothman, who died eight years ago, led the mass trespass on Kinder Scout in April 1932 to demonstrate for the right to roam over what used to be common land but was at that time privately owned. A keen rambler, he was spurred into action after he had been turned away on a previous excursion to the Peaks by gamekeepers who, he said, "abused and threatened" him.

His protest ultimately led to the passing of the law that created the national parks and guaranteed access to some of the country's most scenic areas. Millions of people who visit the Peaks, or the Lakes, or the Dales every year have reason to be grateful.

At first sight, calling him a hero may be pitching it a little high. To qualify for that status usually requires, at the very least, a display of conspicuous courage in the face of great danger. Sacrifice in the cause of helping others doesn't hurt either.

Jews set the bar even higher. Across the centuries there have been outstanding Jewish examples of courage and sacrifice - Moses and Esther, Bar Kochba, the fighters of the Warsaw Ghetto, Israel's military saviours. But our greatest champions are remembered not for decisive battlefield moments or dare-devil rescues but for deeds on which the fate of an entire people depended.

They struggled against overwhelming odds not in the quest for glory, but for something far more valuable - survival.

Rothman's stroll in the country pales in comparison, doesn't it? The overwhelming odds in this case were on his side. In order to overcome the gamekeepers employed by the landowners to look after their grouse stocks, he took 400 people along with him. Not much danger of having to make the ultimate sacrifice there - the odd scuffle was as physical as the trespass got.

Not that Benny was obvious hero material to begin with. Born in Manchester into an Orthodox family of refugees who had fled antisemitism in Romania, his future looked bright when he won a scholarship to Manchester Central High School. But his education was terminated at the age of 14, when his father died and he had to help support the family. Like many other working-class lads of his generation, he joined the Communist Party, attracted by the promise of the inevitable overthrow of the capitalist system.

Fairly unremarkable then, but a Jewish hero he is nonetheless. Throughout our troubled history, the easy response to insult and petty discrimination has been to shrug and do nothing - the "don't-make-trouble" tradition. This rarely works.

Much rarer is the "enough-already" tradition, where the victim of injustice or unfairness finally is moved to rebel. When Rothman was kicked off that hillside and told that the grouse had more right to be there than he did, he had a choice.

He could have sloped away and found some other place to walk. But he didn't. He decided "enough already".

And there was sacrifice involved. Rothman was arrested and sentenced to four months in prison for incitement to riotous assembly. Revealingly, of the five protesters detained by police, four were Jewish.

So, at a time when mass protest is back in fashion, it seems right to recognise Benny's achievement. And the good news is that the National Trust's fences are designed to deter only grazing sheep - walkers can still follow in his footsteps.

Wincing with the Amstells

Alan Montague — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 16:11:43 +0100

Simon Amstell is best known for bursting celebrity egos as the host of the BBC pop quiz, Never Mind the Buzzcocks. After three years of laying into the likes of Cheryl Cole and the Sugababes, he declared himself bored, quit the show and disappeared from our TV screens.

Now he is back, making his debut as an actor in an autobiographical sitcom he has co-written with Buzzcocks collaborator Dan Swimer.

Grandma’s House is where The Royle Family meets Curb Your Enthusiasm, with a little bit of Woody Allen thrown in. Like Larry David, Amstell more or less plays himself, a Jewish, gay TV celebrity called Simon who is having severe doubts about his career path. And like Caroline Aherne, Amstell sets all the action in one place, his grandma’s home in Gants Hill, the venue for strained family gatherings.

The humour is the well-trodden comedy of embarrassment, with laughs and winces coming in, more or less, equal measure. Jewish viewers might squirm as they recognise something familiar in Simon’s grandparents, mum, aunt and nephew who kvetch and bicker over the dinner table together. Whether you enjoy it or not will depend on how you feel about Amstell’s geeky, angst-ridden persona, but he gets great support from Rebecca Front as his naches-shepping divorced mother and Samantha Spiro as the dowdy aunt resentful of his success.

At one point, his character complains that he wants to do something meaningful. Not sure if Grandma's House is meaningful, but it is funny and well-observed enough to suggest its creator has talents way beyond taking the mickey out of boy bands.

‘Grandma’s House’ begins on BBC2 on August 9