The lucky winner of our caption contest - and recipient of two tickets to see Jackie Mason in London this month - is Estelle Ries of Radlett.
In her entry, the comedian tells Mikhail Gorbachev in the above photo: "If I give you my autograph, everyone will want one!"
And here are Jackie Mason's own suggestions. To Gorbachev, he says; "Have you ever thought about converting? One snip and it's over."
And to Alan Sugar, he growls: "Hey mister, with all your money, you can't afford a razor?"