Five things I learned last week:
1) Big hair can be a big asset.
Number of gifts given to my child by random strangers on the train from Manchester because they liked her locks - four (two packets of biscuits, a bag of crisps and a beaded key ring in the shape of a jester). I am wondering whether our next trip should be to the local Apple store.
2) It is best not to make offers in jest.
My mother said having my girl with her was her "best birthday gift" so I told her that it was a year's subscription (non-returnable). She wasn't best pleased when I reclaimed the offering after only 24 hours.
3) A very small thing can actually be a very big thing to a three-year-old.
I can only hope my daughter takes as much time and consideration over future life decisions as she does when choosing knickers in the morning.
4) I appear to be the only person who accepts that the UK is in a rather damp bit of northern Europe.
When the child's wellies started leaking I assumed it would be easy enough to buy a new pair. How wrong I was.
Shop 1: It's not the season for wellies. How about some sandals?
Me: I am wearing my winter coat and a pair of gloves. I'm not sure sandals will fit the bill.
Shop 2: It's not the season for wellies. It's the summer you know.
Me: Yes, in Spain perhaps. We have the heating on and last night I went to bed with a hot water bottle.
Shop 3: It's not the season for wellies. There's no call for them at this time of year.
Me: It is raining so hard that in the short trip between my car and your door I have ended up wetter than I am when I get out of the bath.
Shop 3: As I say, it's not the season for wellies…
5) Mummy never seems to have the answers.
Why did no one warn me that it's not so much the 'why?' years as 'who, why, what, where.?" As in…
Child: Why did we just stop in the middle of the road?
Me: To let that lady walk across the zebra crossing.
Child: What is she called?
Me: I have no idea.
Me: Because she is a random stranger that I have never seen before.
Child: Where does she live?
Me: Please refer to earlier response
Child: What's she got in her briefcase?
Me: bangs head several times against steering wheel…
Me: Yes, darling.
Child: What's that lady called…?