A sell-out crowd of 200 waited for the speaker at the London Jewish Cultural Centre on Tuesday. And waited. And waited.

But instead of a good night's raconteuring from Michael Winner about his life in "movies and other places", the audience had to settle for a refund. Because he failed to show.

Such a thing has not happened at the LJCC since the Archbishop of Canterbury got the wrong North End Road and turned up in Earls Court rather than Golders Green - although he made it, an hour late, eventually.

Explained an apologetic Mr Winner the following day: "Like a total idiot. I had the date down for Wednesday… I've offered to return but at the moment they say they haven't got the hall. A ghastly mistake. I've never let an audience down before and I've been doing that show since 1967." 

Never mind, you can enjoy a promised extra helping of Hymie jokes in his Sunday Times restaurant column this weekend.