Yom Atzmaut parties are always high spirited affairs but my spirit levels needed to be particularly raised this week to deal with all the antics at the party hosted by President Shimon Peres at his residence. I say party, but it was more karaoke with Shims, Beebs, Defence Minister Moshe Yaalon and Chief of Staff Benny Gantz, all belting out pop songs with the help of top Israeli singers – Rita in Shims’s case. Shims has always had a lovely singing voice but whether it is age catching up with him or he was distracted by the sight of me in a mini-dress fashioned out of the Israeli flag, he was slightly off-key at various points in the performance. And if Beebs had hit me over the head one more time with that squeaky plastic hammer, I would not have been responsible for my actions...
Roger Waters has been spouting off again about the Rolling Stones and how they shouldn’t be playing in Israel. Roger, who was always the sulky one in Pink Floyd back in the ’60s really should leave poor little Mick alone, particularly when he has had such a difficult time recently. If Roger doesn’t stop it with the Stones I’m going to go round to his house and lob a few of my own through his window… while wearing my Israeli flag mini-dress (the police will never know it’s me, I’ll be wearing shades).
I knew Simon Cowell would crack. He said he would never get involved in the nitty-gritty of nappy-changing for his new baby son Eric but now he has been seen out with his partner Lauren Silverman and the baby in Hollywood, carrying the nappies and moving the baby seat from car to restaurant. According to my spies he did indeed try a nappy-change himself although it had to be redone – apparently he made the waistband way too high.
I could have given the Israel flag mini-dress another outing at club-owner Guy Pelly’s wedding in Memphis to heiress Elizabeth Wilson. Yes, indeed, it was a fancy dress wedding – these toffs know how to celebrate. But I thought in this case, my Dolly Parton outfit (loaned to me by Dolly herself) might be more suitable. It was lovely to catch up with Guy’s mates Princes William and Harry and since the bride, known as Queen Elizabeth to her friends, is from the family that owns the Holiday Inn chain, everyone enjoyed a free buffet breakfast the next morning. Not everyone was happy: dear little Tony Page was smarting after coming within a smoked salmon sliver of getting the contract to do the catering. We all thought that because Prince Harry absolutely adores chopped liver and latkes, it might swing it, but alas not. I can report that the quail’s eggs were no substitute for egg and onion.