The Diary

Removes Jewishness - guaranteed

By Simon Round, January 29, 2009

It is amazing what you can find at the shops these days. There is even medication for people who feel that little bit too Jewish.

JC reader Hilary Bracey from Liverpool was staggered to find in her receipt from Home Bargains in Liverpool that she had purchased 500g container of Ace Gentile Powder for 99p.

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Rachel won it for Israel

By Simon Round, January 29, 2009

Israel’s intelligence capabilities have often been praised. Now a possible explanation of why they get things right so often: divine intervention. A story is doing the rounds of how a beautiful woman, thought to be Rachel (the matriarch rather than the Strictly Come Dancing star) assisted troops in Gaza.

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Is it love or hate?

By Simon Round, January 22, 2009

The New York Post has accused singer Courtney Love (the widow of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain) of antisemitism.

In an article for Jewish magazine Heeb, Love (who is Jewish) said: “Every time you buy a Nirvana record part of that money is not going to Kurt’s child or to me, it’s going to... a handful of Jew loan officers, Jew private banks, it’s going to lawyers who are also bankers.”

Heeb publisher Joshua Neuman reckoned the Post should keep its opinions to itself. In a comment on the magazine’s blogsite, Neuman wrote: “Like it or not, this is how Jews talk to Jews.” Is it?

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Mini driver arrested

By Simon Round, January 22, 2009

A mother was so delighted that her 11-year-old daughter had done well in a school exam that she allowed her to joy-ride in the family car. Police in Tel Aviv were staggered to discover a young girl behind the wheel, and her mother in the passenger’s seat.

The mother explained she had promised the child she could drive the car if she got an “A”.

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Nul points from Arabs

By Simon Round, January 22, 2009

In Britain, the controversy over the Eurovision Song Contest usually revolves around Terry Wogan’s participation, but in Israel it is taken much more seriously.

When it was announced that Christian Arab singer Mira Awad would perform alongside Jewish songstress Achinoam Nini, known as Noa, Israeli Arabs were furious.

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Boris donates gelt

By Simon Round, January 14, 2009

Being fined £60 for failure to pay your congestion charge is bad enough under normal circumstances but far more embarrassing if your name happens to be Boris Johnson, and your job is London mayor.

Perhaps he can be forgiven on this one occasion though. Boris was so excited about driving into London to light the Chanucah candles on December 22 that he clean forgot to fork out the money .

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Wedding music with a difference

By Simon Round, January 14, 2009

A Jewish couple celebrating their wedding in New York experienced an unexpected soundtrack. Waiter Stephen Buttafuoco played a recording of Arab demonstrators shouting “God is great” over the PA system.

It could be an expensive gesture — he has been charged with harrassment.

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Kanoute gets shirty

By Simon Round, January 14, 2009

Former Spurs and West Ham footballer Frederic Kanoute is in trouble for his overly political goal celebration.

After scoring for his club, Sevilla, in the Spanish Primera Liga last weekend, Kanoute lifted his shirt over his head to reveal a T-shirt with the word Palestine written in various languages.

Kanoute’s protest cost him a yellow card and he faces a fine from the Spanish FA.

Clearly, there are no longer split loyalties for Kanoute. As Tottenham fans will be aware, despite being a practising Muslim, Kanoute also used to be a “Yid”.

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Griffin: Jews are OK

By Simon Round, January 8, 2009

British National Party leader Nick Griffin has been on a charm offensive to explain how non-racist and reasonable are his party’s policies. He even took time out to chat to the Israeli daily Ma’ariv.

Griffin told the paper that he “has no time for antisemites”.

Indeed, to emphasise the point he added: “Four million Jews would be preferable to four million Pakistanis.” Charming.

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And now the good news — no, really

By Simon Round, January 8, 2009

Amid all the doom and gloom about recession, Gaza and the weather, at last some good news. A record number of people used our Social & Personal columns (P25-27) to announce engagements and births this week. Thirty seven couples decided to tie the knot while 36 babies were born. What was going on in April?

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