Being Jewish means spotting Jews, like finding Where’s Wally? Never buying rounds for my friends, and scrounging free drinks off as many people as possible (in return for them receiving a free lift home). Praying Israel will stop falling for Hamas’s rocket attacks and giving it the PR it needs for world support. Looking at every olive-skinned woman and thinking ‘Is she Jewish/Israeli... and single?’ Frequent trips to Israel, researching EVERYTHING so you can win every argument, impressing your rabbis with your knowledge of the world and looking forward to raising the next generation of Jews (in, one day, Israel).
Charly Goldsmith is a nurse from Brighton