In my perfect life there would be a Packing Fairy. She would possess the exquisite taste of a Tom Ford and the ruthlessness of a Mary Portas. She would tip-toe through the window the night before a holiday and as I slept, she would carefully extract all the pieces I need for a perfectly co-ordinated vacation wardrobe together with all the essential toiletries, hair-care, sun-preps and cosmetics.
It will not be news to you, dear reader, that we are well into the summer sales.
Nor is it news that there are some very fabulous bargains to be had due to a combination of the economic downturn and our utterly ludicrous climate, affording us 90-degree heat in April and Februaryesque temperatures in June.
At the risk of annoying a reader who emailed the JC Letters page in April to enquire whether I was in the pay of the BBC press department because of my frequent mentions of Mad Men, I am forced to refer to That Programme once again. (In mitigation, m'lud, I haven't mentioned it since April!).
Prints and patterns of all kinds tend, metaphorically speaking, to bring me out in a bit of a rash. But since last year, when flower prints were having a moment -thanks largely to the genius of London-based Erdem - the florals have been joined by fruit, birds, animals, fish, butterflies and geometrics across every kind of garment at every price point.
The high street may be coming under the scrutiny of Mary Portas in her role as High Street Tsarina, but for savvy women across the UK, the high street is already their first stop when hunting down fabulous, fashion forward clothing and accessories.
Women, it seems, like a nice frock. No matter how hard the designers try to wean us off dresses and back on to separates, we (and I emphatically include myself) are resisting. The message from the designers is: "Getting trousers or a pencil skirt to work with a shirt or a top isn't that hard. Get over it."
When Kate Middleton chose lace for the bodice and trim of that divine wedding gown, created for her by Sarah Burton, design chief at Alexander McQueen, the new Duchess of Cambridge wasn’t just honouring tradition, she was being perfectly on-trend.
It is, let us be frank, the Cinderella of colours. If this colour was an act, it is the one not even Michael McIntyre could bring himself to vote for. It is the shade most frequently found on the sale rails alongside egg-yolk yellow.