Move over Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin. Israeli shoe designer, Kobi Levi is putting the fun and fabulous back into footwear at Selfridges this month with his collection of themed stilettoes resembling everything from a shark baring its teeth to a half-peeled banana and a cup of coffee spilling on to the floor.
If you thought the sheer range of trends in clothing this season was dazzling/baffling, you will find no comfort in footwear - literally, of course, as well as metaphorically, since mega high heels and teetering platforms again stalk the land for spring/summer 2012.
The Scandinavians are definitely having a moment, And not just on TV where, watching the superb Danish imports, The Killing, Borgen and Those Who Kill, which started on ITV3 last week, has become a paradigm of middle-class, cultural attitudes, or in pop-lit where Stieg Larsson, Jens Lapidus and Liza Markland regularly top UK bestseller lists.
On Planet Fashion, or La La land as I prefer to call it, a UK Spring of chilly temps, blustery winds, lots of rain and occasional snow flurries, doesn't exist. In LLL, seasons shift in a blink from deep mid-winter (January, February, early March) into a balmy fantasy Spring in which we are expected to switch instantly from cashmere and fur to floral frocks and bare legs.
It was sometime around 2008, just before the first credit crunch began to bite, that the UK high street began to seriously rock. Chains like River Island, Warehouse, Oasis, H&M with their guest collections, and Debenhams with their "Designers For..." collections, all began to up their game in response, some would argue, to the challenge of Primark.
It was revealing that, in the course of researching this feature to determine which of the high street stores currently offer size 18 and over, the sizes most frequently sold out on the stores' websites - and we are talking brand new spring merchandise here - were the 18s, 20s and 22s.