Revealed: Bibi’s Tweets, direct from the treadmill

If only you Twittered, Mr Netanyahu...

By Tim Marshall, June 4, 2009

● Up early. Building to do before Obama calls. He thinks he’s so special. 05.30
● Treadmill. Sara says my waistline expanding faster than Har Homa. 06.10
● Kim Il on TV. How can you take a guy who backcombs seriously? 06.20
● BB has 5-shirter day! 5 interviews lined up. 06.30
● Only 2 clean shirts! Argue with Sara. 07.00
● Email Prosor in London. Find out if Susan Boyle is Jewish. 08.00
● Don’t worry Susan. Israel is behind you! 0850
● Prosor calls. Not Jewish. Tell him to invite her over here anyway. 09.20
● 1st interview with Ch2. Shirt holds up, but make-up on collar. 11.26
● BB has second interview. Clean shirt. Fox News. 11.55
● Call Lieberman to borrow shirt. Says he’s bigger than me. 12.01
● Photoshop Lieberman out of Cabinet photos. That’ll teach him. 12.07
● Sky News interview outside. 32C. Light blue shirt now dark blue. Make-up running. 12.20
● Cancel CNN. Sara goes to Castro for shirts. Amex cancelled. Now what? 12.50
● Cancel CBS and Al Jaz. Ha’aretz online reporting rumours I’m ill. 13.14
● Lieberman quits! 13.34
● Call Livnat. Offer to photoshop her back in if she calls Lieberman. 13.56
● Avigdor. I’m sorry. Please call. 14.12
● Excellent. Dudu Topaz calls offering exclusive interview. I can set record straight. 14.59
● Topaz calls back, he meant Ch1 could interview him. 15.06
● Emergency Cabinet meeting. Barak in my chair — When yr big enough, Ehud. 15.10
● Obama hasn’t called. 10am in DC and he’s not up? 15.16
● Princeton kid thinks he can outsmart me? I’ve been round the block. 15.17
● Everyone; thanks for tweets. I know he went to Harvard really. 15.19
● Oops! Obama on Twitter and following me. Only kiddin’ Barack. 15.23
● Good news. Boyle had grandmother who visited Golders Green. 1540
● Call Boyle at Priory. Offer free Aliyah. Can’t understand her. 15.50
● Call MFA for Scottish translator. 15.52
● Boyle also on Twitter. Tweets that Scots speak English. I knew that. 16.04
● No 10 on phone to Prosor telling him to back off. 16.09
● MFA says Obama coming to M East this week. Call Sara, ask for 5 shirts. 16.14
● Wish Sarah would stop with the “charming Obama this, charming Obama that”. 16.20
● Barack; MFA says yr not coming to Israel. Please send direct message. 16.24
● Not you, Barak. The other one. 16.27
● Back in Cabinet. Now Lieberman in my chair. Show him Cabinet photo including him. Leaves chair, rejoins gov. Twitpix follow. 17.30
● N Korea missile launch. “long range or deranged” I quip. Silvan Shalom, sitting on my right, laughs loudly. 17.40
● Announce new freeze on my waistline. Only Silvan laughs. 17.55
● Obama calls. Says he’s only talking to Muslims this week. Tell him some of my best friends are Muslims. 18.40
● A T and T rubbish. Line went dead. Won’t reconnect. 19.00
● Politics may be overrated. Might go into web business with BBC, Yahoo and call it BBNet and Yahoo. Geddit? 19.40
● Thanks Silvan. 19.42

Tim Marshall is foreign editor of Sky News

Last updated: 12:02pm, June 4 2009