No toast in the JC this week

Recently I acquired a smartphone. It was a confusing purchase because there were so many on offer. There was the iPhone 4, the Blackberry Torch, the HTC Desire and probably the LG Orgasm. In the end I went for the Samsung Galaxy S on the basis that Samsung are Chelsea's shirt sponsors.

It turned out to be an inspired decision. The phone has everything I could possibly want. I can watch videos on it, I can listen to the radio, its satnav will guide me to my destination and when I get there I can take a picture of it and email my friends.

However, all this technology has a big downside. You see every device I own can perform practically every function I need to do plus several that I'd rather not. But while all my electrical devices can multi-task, I cannot.

It's so confusing. If for example I want to watch a show on TV I can now do so on my laptop. If I want to listen to a programme on the radio I can do so on my TV. If I want to read the newspaper I can do so on my phone. If I want to make a phone call I can, through the miracle of Skype, do it on my computer. If I want to make toast… well I still have to use the toaster but it can only be a matter of time before I will be able to download my breakfast on my phone and serve it on my laptop (rather than spill it on my lap).

The laptop TV could consolidate my debts, so why not my media functions?

Admittedly I cannot watch movies or make phone calls on my radio but it does double up as a torch (which is more than you can say for the Blackberry Torch). This is very handy when I attempt to watch telly, listen to the radio, make phone calls and download music simultaneously, causing all the electrics to fuse.

As I was watching TV (on my laptop) the other night I saw an advert informing me that I could now consolidate all of my debts into a manageable sum with one monthly payment. Why, I asked myself, was it not possible to consolidate all my media functions into one manageable machine? Such is the blur of technology that I have missed several interesting sounding programmes on TV because I could not decide how or when to view them. It almost made me nostalgic for the 70s when the only reason I used to miss programmes was because the box had broken down and the TV repair man (who came around so often that he became a close family friend) was replacing the tube.

Which brings me to why I love the JC. The great thing about the newspaper - the print version anyway - is that you can't use it to phone anyone, you can't watch TV on it, it won't tell you to exit the M25 at junction 10 and you will not receive any text messages on it.

But if you want hard news, informed opinion or even some whimsical nonsense, there is no better device.

Meanwhile if you missed any of my previous columns, feel free to skype me on Facebook, download me on Twitter, follow me on Youtube or, if all else fails, set phasers to stun and beam me up.

    Last updated: 10:07am, March 4 2011