Mrs Cohen's diary

By Mrs Cohen, January 18, 2014

* Am I surprised about François Hollande’s dalliance? Not at all. When I was in Paris last year I popped into the Elysée Palace to say hello. As luck would have it, Valerie was out and Frankie had that familiar twinkle in his eye. I am as susceptible as any girl to a little Gallic shmooze and I might have been tempted, but he had the same pair of shoes on that he had been wearing the previous summer in London – and the time before that, as well. Some girls are clearly less fussy about footwear than I am.

* And so it was off to Jerusalem to pay my final respects to Arik. I still remember how dashing he looked in his general’s uniform back in 1967. I remember at the time when I was a slip of a girl working on a kibbutz, that he was very impressed when I explained to him the importance of a pincer movement, so I can claim a little part in his success. Anyway, Tony Blair made a nice speech, which definitely means that Cherie had no part in writing it. Shame that the velvet kippah was too big for his head.

* Watching Celebrity Big Brother over the past week I am so glad that I turned down the chance to appear in this year’s series. My rider was that I would have my own room, plus access to my beautician and personal trainer At All Times, and that I could go home for Shabbat. Good that they refused, because I don’t think that appearing on Channel Five would have done my profile any favours. Also, had I been stuck in the house with Evander Holyfield, I might well have bitten off his other ear.

* There was a time before I was awarded my MBE that I didn’t believe in the honours system. However, since I went to the Palace to pick up the award a couple of years back, I have come to understand how exciting it is for ordinary people to have their day in the sun – although some of those women will always regret the hats they wore. When I stepped up to receive my award I could see the relief on Her Majesty’s face that at last there was someone she knew.

* While there were a few knighthoods this year which were richly deserved, I know some of the wives from Hampstead coffee mornings and, believe me, the only way they were ever going to become ladies was by their husbands getting a gong. Of course, no one thought to give Laura Marks an OBE despite the fact that she is practically running the community, what with Mitzvah Day and being second in charge of the Board of Deputies. Her husband, Dan Patterson, is probably getting an inferiority complex, so it was nice to see that he has written a very funny play called The Duck House about the expenses scandal. Might we expect his-and- her gongs next year, perhaps? I might give Her Maj a nudge.

Last updated: 3:45pm, January 18 2014