Using your loaf

By Simon Rocker
September 17, 2009

A whimsical take on the Tashlich ceremony, that comes in an email circular from the Kesher community centre in Golders Green.

"On the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, there is a ceremony called Tashlich. Jews traditionally go to the ocean or a stream or river to pray and throw bread crumbs into the water. Symbolically, the fish devour their sins.

"Occasionally, people ask what kind of bread crumbs should be thrown. Here are suggestions for breads which may be most appropriate for specific sins and misbehaviours:

For ordinary sins - White Bread

For amatory sins - French Bread

For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel

For complex sins - Multi-Grain

For twisted sins - Pretzels

For tasteless sins - Rice Cakes

For sins of indecision - Waffles

For sins committed in haste - Matzah

For substance abuse - Stoned Wheat

For use of hard drugs - Poppy Seed

For petty larceny - Stollen

For committing auto theft - Caraway

For ill-temperednes - Sourdough

For silliness, eccentricity - Nut Bread

For not giving full value - Shortbread

For excessive irony - Rye Bread

For telling bad jokes/puns- Corn Bread

For dressing suggestively - Tarts

For causing injury to others - Tortes

For being holier than thou - Bagels"


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