The awful decline in shul-going standards


By DaddyDay
November 3, 2009
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So, Simon Rocker's community has finally succumbed to the clap! Well, if he'd had the misfortune of visiting my shul - Borehamwood and Elstree Synagogue - any time over the past 2-3 years, he'd have shuddered with embarrassment on many occasions, as oblivious guests 'celebrate' the Bar Mitzvah's completion of the Haftarah with a hearty round of applause, leaving the regular shul-goers to hide under our tallitot or behind our chumashim.

What ever happened to a good old "Yisha koach" in such circumstances? Rabbi Brawer has even taken to reminding people before the leining that the upcoming Bar Mitzvah's recitation of the leining or Haftarah is not a concert!

To be honest though, this is just one of a series of cringeworthy 'declines' in shul-going standards in the past few years. Perhaps the worst is the appearance of mobile phones in synagogue. Not content to merely be without their precious mobiles / blackberries / iphones for 2-3 hours of shul, people - 99.9% of time guests to simchas - keep them on, so that they ring during the service. On one occasion in our own shul, the grandfather of the Bar Mitzvah boy even took his phone out to capture his grandson's special moment on camera!

The problem is so horrendous in Borehamwood and Elstree Synagogue that guests are now asked to deposit their phones into plastic pouches, and then given a raffle ticket to be able collect their phone once they leave the shul's premises! We've been known to collect more than 50 phones on particularly bad weeks!!

Equally appalling was the response of another shul-goer on Yom Kippur, who felt there was absolutely nothing wrong with his child playing on his games console in shul, during the service, and who responded by saying "well, at least he's not making any noise"! Not making any noise?!?!?! Hello!! This is a synagogue...we are here to pray, thank G-d, celebrate being Jewish (and have a bit of a natter with our friends)!

In the meantime, everybody's gone CRAP, I mean CRP crazy. Of course, everyone wants their child to attend a Jewish school, so they turn up to register on a Shabbat (and then often leave immediately). Ask them WHY they want Jewish schools for these kids, and it's usually because they don't want their darlings mixing with the 'local' kids...not because they actively want their children to have a Jewish education which will be supported at home and by going to shul regularly.

Until there is a consolidated approach to dealing with this obvious decline in shul-going standards, led by the United Synagogue, whereby people know that whatever orthodox shul they attend they'll be subject to the same high standards of conduct, this ever-growing problem will not be resolved!!

COMMENTS

benjya

3 November, 2009 - 15:56

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I just need to correct two minor factual errors in your article.

1) The record is in fact 42 phones and one camera.

2) The kid playing with a Nintendo DS was on Rosh Hashanah, not Yom Kippur. Unless, of course, you're referring to a subsequent incident!

We've also heard comments along the lines of "I didn't know this was a no-phones Shul"...

Of course, any non-Jewish visitors to the Shul (eg as Barmitzvah guests) are fully understanding, and will often hand their phones over without even being asked. It's only the Jews who cause problems - one wonders if they would be so inconsiderate if asked to hand over their phone when visiting a Church or a Mosque.


consultingdoc

3 November, 2009 - 18:34

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DaddyDay is quick to criticize the other shul-goers for their manners (rather their lack thereof). If he will pardon my correction of his Jewish knowledge, please allow me to point out that the correct expression is not "yisha koach", it's "yashar koach" coming from the Hebrew word "yashar" or straight (meaning something along the lines of "may your strength increase").
You're welcome.


MummyG

4 November, 2009 - 14:52

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I am a Jew and wish to keep my Jewish tradition alive in my family. This is important to me. Having said this, I know the below may sound ignorant, or maybe too progressive for you, but here goes: I want to clap Bar Mitzvah boys, because despite the religious aspect of them getting up there, I think its an amazing accomplishment to achieve. Clapping can raise there confidence and self esteem. Maybe it could encourage Rabbis to give more interesting sermons if they did get a round of applause. Then at least they could use this feedback as a form of self assessment to see if they reached their congregation, or whether they bored us to death and need to work on a different approach. I sometimes even wanted to clap the choir on Kol Nidra (when they used to sing) as it moved me, and when I get moved I show my appreciation by clapping. Having read Daddy Days article, I will say that I would never wish to offend anyone, by clapping, so perhaps this is something I would now consider. However, I ask you to consider: since the shul going community has declined, should the human gift of clapping, used to represent praise, thanks, appreciation and mazel to people be stopped? Shouldn’t we be finding ways to make our Shuls more inviting and exciting to the younger generation? Instead of just making us feel not good enough, or religious enough?


Trevor Fox

7 November, 2009 - 20:37

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Not half as bad as the Shevet Achim synagogue in Panama City where they asked me to sign in as a visitor on first day Pesah.

And instead of yisha ko'ach or whatever the Sephardi salutation hazak u' baruch ( strength and blessings ) is a lot more powerful.


Lanne

12 November, 2009 - 10:56

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I agree that people should not take mobile phones into their synagogue. People also need to understand that Judaism is also about showing kindness to other Jews (it says this in the Torah) and constant criticizing members of Borehamwood and Elstree Synagogue for not being religious enough, clapping Bar Mitzva boys etc is not showing kindness to other Jews. Constant criticizing of people at your synagogue can only put people of Judaism.


Lanne

12 November, 2009 - 10:57

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I agree that people should not take mobile phones into their synagogue. People also need to understand that Judaism is also about showing kindness to other Jews (it says this in the Torah) and constant criticizing members of Borehamwood and Elstree Synagogue for not being religious enough, clapping Bar Mitzva boys etc is not showing kindness to other Jews. Constant criticizing of people at your synagogue can only put people of Judaism.

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