May 8, 2009
from my little bowl, i noticed this week that iran has been visited with a plague of oranges ° not falling from the sky and killing all the firstborn cattle, but lying unexploded in boxes waiting to terrorise the population ° only the vigilance of the iranian fruit police has exposed this insurgence, with its international connections
the oranges were displayed for sale around teheran, masquerading as good chinese oranges, but they were found to have originated from jaffa, and were imported via dubai in boxes with chinese lettering ° clearly an international conspiracy seeks to undermine the iranian republic with sweetness and easy peelability
the israeli government has, as is usual on security matters, refused to comment ° but it is known that jerusalem has been visited by a top american spy with the code-name agent orange ° and a rabbi in jaffa recently gave a sermon on the verse "out of sweetness came forth strength"
israel's orange enrichment program is an open secret, and the whole city of tel-aviv "never sleeps" in its single-minded hundred-year quest for the "big orange"
already iranian dissidents are openly eating these oranges in public, in defiance of the strict fruit laws ° by the cunning zionist trick of removing the labels, they are making it impossible for the fruit police to tell who is a good peace-loving citizen and who is a dangerous dissident and counter-revolutionary
as a result, the government is trying to recall all oranges, officially for "safety inspections", but in reality for stockpiling for use against iran's arab neighbours ° but the people are hiding and even burying their oranges, and bringing them out for wild anti-government orange parties when the inspectors have gone
the police have arrested all the usual black marketeers, but they cannot find the orange marketeers who are running the orange underground ° anarchists in isfahan started a rumour that israel had grown an army of mutant oversized oranges which were parachuting into iran disguised as grapefruit, and many innocent grapefruit were crushed in the panic
the orange revolution has started! o people of iran, rise up for freedom of fruit! ° remember how william of orange freed ireland from the austrians by rescuing an orange from his son's head! ° where oranges lead, let the people follow! ° the people's flag is deepest orange!
i see a future in which oranges of every persuasion have a place in paradise ° i see a future in which the duck shall lie down with the orange, and a little child shall eat them ° i see that the future is sweet! the future is orange!
i see a lot from my little bowl!