February 4, 2010
Scene: A father talking to his 10-year-old son in the front room of a house somewhere in the UK last week.
dad: "come here, son"
son: "yes, dad, what do you want?"
dad: "i want to teach you something"
son: "what, dad?
dad: "ok, stand straight. Hold out your right arm straight in front of you"
son: "ok. Like this?"
dad: "yes. hand straight following the arm. That's right. Now, raise the arm in the air a bit"
son: "like this?
dad: "keep your upper arm still and your forearm and hand straight. Now touch your heart with the right hand"
son: "how many times?
dad: "at least three times each go"
son: "what's this for, dad?
dad: "It's complicated but basically Spurs fans are all Jews. Hitler hated Jews and so this is his salute"
son: "when should i do this then?"
dad: "when we are at the match next wednesday Spurs fans might start singing about 'going to Wembley'. Do it towards them then. Ok?"
son: "Ok, dad"
dad: "Oh, as you are a bit small they won't see you so stand on your seat when you do it"
son: "will do, dad. Thanks, dad"
At about 9.30pm last night, just after Spurs had scored their second goal against Leeds, I was unlucky enough to witness this boy perform these salutes to perfection.
Hitler would have been proud of him.